Jump to content
Sal's RuneScape Forum
Sign in to follow this  
pyrowarlock

El Amor Ciego

Recommended Posts

This is a short story [actually having two parts] which was written for a magazine. And it is dedicated for my nakama [ BFF+Comrade]

Its actually quite crappy. i actually intended this to be a secret work...but I need a bit of criticism. So I thought here would be fine

 

But let me tell you a few things: its a romance [flimsy one if I might say]. There is a part involving reasoning[which ill explain later], but the reasons are crappy. And its a saturated story [too much in less space]

 

Any way, im cutting the crap. Here it is

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

EL AMOR CIEGO

 

Hannah slowly walked into the cafeteria of the college, alone. Her eyes, like always, swept over the sign in front of it that read ‘BERKLEE COLLEGE OF MUSIC’. She strode past it and opened the door the cafeteria.

 

It was noisy inside, never silent. But as she walked, heads turned towards her. She wasn’t the college beauty, nor was she the genius. All she was…

 

‘Hey Fat Mama, which city did you bombard out of existence?’ came out a shrill cry from the College Queen. Her friends around her giggled and laughed. Hannah ignored them and walked to the line for lunch. She put up an expressionless face and stood. But deep inside she cried. She was breaking into bits inside. She just couldn’t bear it. This happened everyday for two years. But it kept becoming worse.

 

It was not herself she was worried about. She was neither obese nor overweight. She was just a bit fatter than the rest, but it became a problem only because she was the only fat one in the college. She knew she was fat and she had got over being called that. But this always reminded her of something that started about a year and a half ago. And now he was coming to her.

‘Hey, Hannah’ spoke Paulo. His lean and handsome figure materialized behind her. Hannah turned to see the love of her life. She stared into his deep black eyes that reminded her of coal – that could light itself with passion. And Paulo stared back at her as if he couldn’t just get enough of her.

 

Just like she did him, he loved her from the bottom of his heart. He was the only one who loved first. He was the only one who cared for her, ignoring her physical appearance. She never knew why. All she knew was that he did.

 

But every time she saw him, her heart disintegrated. Because he was the one suffering from their mutual love, to be more precise, from her appearance.

 

‘How are you, love’ he asked, sincerely. His face held the same expression that he had when he asked this – an eager child like innocent face with a passionate smile. Hannah smiled weakly. But before she could reply, another voice called out.

 

‘Paulo, here’s my latest composition for your loooooove’ the college hunk began, in mocking tones

‘ “There was once a dude and an elephant

So big she couldn’t fit into her pant

He loved him like she did

And so he had a huge elephant kid” What’s up loser’ he ended.

 

The composition was accompanied with lots of Hi-5s and whoops. Paulo struggled to keep his anger in check. He was visibly turning pink, but he stayed silent. He heard things like these every day. But he couldn’t bear anything that would hurt Hannah.

Hannah saw this and couldn’t bear it. This was the worst she had ever heard. She broke into tears and ran out of the room. Paulo called out behind her. But she ignored him, pushed through the students and the door and ran.

 

*

 

As Hannah reached the fountain in the centre of the college, the sun had set. She saw Paulo sitting at the edge. She quickly brushed her tears away and hurried to him.

Paulo sat as if in deep thought. Without looking up he said ‘I thought you wouldn’t come after what happened today’

 

‘Well, we made a promise to meet here every day at sunset right. I would not break it’ Hannah replied. Her voice was broken, like that of one who was crying.

 

‘Just get over it, OK’ Paulo told her. And after a pause ‘I still do love you’

 

Paulo was about to speak again, before Hannah interrupted.

‘Do you truly love me’ she asked. This was not the first time she had asked this.

 

‘Even after 2 years, you still doubt by faithfulness?’ he answered faithfully. And he always replied like this

 

‘Why do you still love me?’ she cried.

 

‘Does love need a reason or a cause’ Paulo reasoned, albeit a bit confused. This was the first time she had asked this question.

 

‘But why a fat idiot likes me?’ Hannah said, her voice rising.

 

‘I told you not to call yourself fat’ Paulo replied. He had the ability to keep his voice the same throughout a conversation – one of the factors that made him a great musician.

 

‘Does it make me any different?’ Hannah asked, her voice turning shrill and breaking

 

‘I still love you, even though you are fat. And it wasn’t your appearance I fell in love with. It was with you, the person inside this shell’ he told her.

 

‘You think it would work with me. You are one of the best looking boys of our school and everyone knows that. There are other girls waiting for you to love them. And out of all, you chose the ugliest and fat one.’ Hannah told him, in tears now

 

‘Stop it, Hannah’

 

‘How can I have you love me, when I am aware that I am the reason of the biggest mistake of your life? Do you actually think I can bear it?’ Tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

‘Hannah, I am blind to your appearance. It’s just you that mean to me’

 

‘Blind…Blind…You can very well see me like this. You know I am fat and I know it hurts you seeing me like this. Sometimes I feel that you can’t continue bearing the comments. And that you can’t see me like this. I know that someday you will stop this and leave. So it would hurt me less if I do it. At least it would save you from your folly’ she said, truly succumbing to her tears.

 

Paulo turned to console her, but she turned and ran.

 

‘Hannah’ he cried.

 

Crying, cursing herself for doing this, she ignored him and ran. She ran, without any inkling of what the consequences were.

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Hannah sat on the edge of the bed in her room and stared into the frame that had once held Paulo’s photograph. It was noon, exactly three year after they broke up. Paulo didn’t come to the college after that. Johann, his best friend told her that he had transferred. She had cried for days, but she was actually sort of happy for what she had done.

 

‘It was for his own future.’ she told herself.

 

She was brought back from her memories by a knock of the door. She opened it to see Johann in front of her.

 

“Hi, Johann” she said.

 

‘Hi’ he said weakly, as if troubled. ‘Could you come with me for a few hours? We will be going to meet someone’

 

‘I don’t think the mistress would allow it’

 

‘That’s not a problem. I had asked her and she agreed. Come now’

 

He drove her to an apartment, a bit close to the dormitory. He led her to the apartment closest to the entrance.

 

‘Enter’ he said

 

‘You not coming in?’ Hannah asked, confused.

 

‘No, you will go in alone. I’ll wait here’ Johann said and leaned against the wall opposite to the door.

 

Hannah shrugged and opened the door slowly. No sooner had she opened, she heard a piano being played. The melodious music flooded the air and flocked around her. It was the most beautiful one she has ever heard. Hearing it made her light. It made her forget her sorrows and worries. She softly closed the door and walked to the source of the melody. And then she saw the musician.

 

Paulo sat at the piano, playing the tune. He was dressed in a musicians wear and even wore sunglasses. He continued playing. His hands moved over the keys with a grace that Hannah had never seen. His head moved to and fro, enraptured by the very own music he created. And then he suddenly stopped. He stood up and slowly, carefully, walked towards the open window. The light fell upon him and he stood, bathing himself in it.

 

Hannah did not understand what she felt. It was a mixture of happiness, sorrow, fear and anger. But she felt a passion grow within her. It was like the candles that were snuffed out, were slowly being lit by angels.

 

Hannah stayed silent. She couldn’t get over the feelings that enveloped her.

 

‘It’s a new composition I wrote. “ El Amor Ciego”. “The Blind Love” it means’

 

‘It was three years ago that we broke up. I felt so lonely after that. My father and Johann are the only ones that know what I am going to say.’ he began

‘After I left for my dormitory just after that… I was an idiot. I drove like a drunkard, unaware of what I was doing. Us breaking up had shaken my mind beyond all imagination. I didn’t even register that I was driving. All I thought about was the event at the fountain. And so…so…I fell into a ditch” he said matter-of-factly. “I had broken my spine and a lot of bones. I was admitted at the hospital where my father worked. They doctors had initially said that there was little hope. But my father refused to hear a thing. My father did what he could and saved me. I thank him for what he did. Johann was there. It was because of me that he had to repeat the year. But I told Johann not to let anyone know what happened. He hated it…but I had forced him to’

 

Hannah was astonished by what she heard. This was something that she would never think to have happened. And to think that it happened to her love was horrible

 

‘But I was healed back to perfection, physically at least. Thank my father again. But mentally I was still broken’ he told her. ‘Do you remember why we broke up?’

Hannah stayed silent, but nodded.

 

‘I know you do. Because you were fat. You felt you were disabled. You couldn’t bear having me see you fat. You thought I made a mistake. And you thought breaking up would save me and help me. But it didn’t work out quite right, eh?’

 

Hannah unexpectedly felt shameful. She hung her head.

 

‘So I decided to do this. My father was completely against it and so was Johann. But Johann understood the need. I asked my father to do it. He agreed after I vowed to do it myself if he wouldn’t do it’

 

Hannah was completely confused by what he was saying. He looked normal and fit enough.

 

Paulo then turned to her and removed his glasses.

 

She smiled seeing his beautiful black eyes. The sincere black eyes that had her accept his love. Seeing it warmed her body instantly. But it took a moment to find out what he meant. His eyes looked misty, as if staring into a distance. He was now looking at some region above Hannah’s head.

 

She was so overcome by sorrow. This was the one thing that hurt her more than taunt. She fell to her knees and started crying.

 

‘I cannot see you. But I can differentiate between bright light and darkness…And I can hear you’

 

He slowly started walking towards her. She stayed where she was. Once he was next to her, he knelt next to her and began

 

‘Hannah, I’ve always loved you and I always will continue to. The three years without you was lonely, a life without light. What you couldn’t bear was me seeing you fat. Nobody would mind our love if I was blind. To them, our love would make perfect sense. I had always known that and knew that it would happen. But it was painful nevertheless.’ Tears appeared in his eyes, but didn’t fall. His voice was filled with emotion to the brim.

 

‘Please Hannah, love me again, just like you had done before. Please be the light that would guide me. Please be the flame that would run my heart. Please give me a reason to live. And don’t cry for me now. Please accept me love if you think my sacrifice is worthy enough for you’

 

Hannah hugged him like she never had. She put three years of love, not given, into it. She cried into his shoulders and said ‘ Paulo, Oh Paulo. You shouldn’t have done this. I’ve always loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you. Forgive me for that day, I beg you. Please forget that day. I vow…I’ll be your light… your guide…your life…your love’

 

Paulo hugged her back and answered them all through this one act. Hannah felt his warm tears trickle into her shoulder. Into her ear he whispered ‘I am going to compose something new and I have got a title for it’

 

‘What is it?’ Hannah asked, smiling, still hugging him. She brightened as she felt her heart let go of every sorrow that was imprisoned throughout her life.

 

‘ Nuestro Amor, Resucitado’ he said. And he didn’t have to translate this time. Hannah knew what he meant – ‘Our Love, Resurrected’

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Aw, that was such a sweet and passionate story! I loved it and enjoyed every bit of it! To be honest... I kind of prefer love stories over most. I rate it a 9.75/10 because of very teeny tiny vocabulary and spelling mistakes but they don't really matter!

 

However, you put this story in the wrong section. I would hate for this beautiful story to be closed, so I suggest that you request a moderator to move this topic to The Library where it rightfully belongs. :cool:

 

 

Merry Christmas! >.<

Edited by Buland

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh! I forgot it was christmas .

 

 

But I used to think the Library was for already completed works [to be honest i've never entered it. I just assumed]

 

I'll have it moved soon enough.

 

 

 

The story.... I never thought it was sooo good. but thanks, that sorta heartened by christmas

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Oh! I forgot it was christmas .

 

 

But I used to think the Library was for already completed works [to be honest i've never entered it. I just assumed]

 

I'll have it moved soon enough.

 

 

 

The story.... I never thought it was sooo good. but thanks, that sorta heartened by christmas

Are you kidding? It was awesome! Nicely written and expressed! Why not make another story in The Library or possibly even in RuneScape Stories? You have great potential!

 

 

Merry Christmas! >.<

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought so too. Very good, pyrowarlock, although it belongs in the Library.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines and Privacy Policy.