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Vahino

My Horrible Childhood - 12 Years Of Pain

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First of all, I'm not telling you this story to get sympathy. I write it down because I want to tel you how things can go in life.

Please note that this story resumes 10 years of pain, when I was 6 up to this year. I could write a book about it, but i resume it in one post, so if you have any questions, feel free to post them!

 

I am autistic. I suffer from Asperger syndrome. It was diagnosed when I was 15. That means a long time, nobody knew about my illness.

 

Since I went to the playschool, when I was 4, I didn't like school. The fact of being in a group and away from home made me afraid. I hid under our kitchen table to not go to the playschool. Of course, my mum got me out of there and drove me to the playschool every day. In the playschool, I was the only kid that stayed out of the group and wasn't really able to listen what the teacher said. That's why teachers thought I had ADHD, which was, in fact, not true. But the playschool was not one of my years of pain.

 

It all began in 1999, my first year of primary school. My behaviour was different from other children. While all children were capable of writing things down which they read from the board, I needed a lot more time and often didn't finish my sentences. When the children were playing in the break, I stayed alone again. I also felt like school was a prison.

 

In the following years, children began noticing my different behaviour and started harassing me. During gym, they sometimes removed my clothes and confined me in an empty changing room. They also did beat me. A long time, I didn't tell my parents, until one day, I got a hard beating and had scratches on my neck. My mother immediately noticed and told the teachers. That's why they mixed classes, which wasn't very effective, because the mobbing continued during the breaks.

 

This continued until High School, where it went even worse. I managed the first year with many difficulties, but the second year went wrong. The worst thing were not the beatings. It was the feeling of being alone in the world. Nobody did understand me, nobody knew of my illness, and I felt like I was in jail. Yes, school was as bad as prison for me. The second year of high scool was horrible, children continued mobbing and beating. My parents tried their best to make me feel as good as possible, they often went to the director, made tons of phone calls, e.t.c... My parents supported me, they knew I suffered a lot, but they didn't know what to do. School was still a nightmare for me. Thats why I often refused doing my homework in the second year. When we had exams, I sometimes gave my teachers a white sheet and got a 0. Also, because i was terrified of school, I didn't work very well, and teachers started telling me I must do effort, they said I was lazy. School got worse and worse for me, thats why I fell psychically ill the following high school year. I had to go o a psychiatry. My parents could visit my during the weekend, but I couldn't go home the first month. Psychiatry was a horrible place. It was like a jail. You stand up every day at the same time, take a shower like a robot, eat at the same time and go to bed at the same time. A total prison, but the worst thing were the staff: They were unfriendly, and sometimes they really exaggerated. I remember one time, we had to paint flags of different countries, when I accidentally knocked over some color. The table didn't look nice, but it was an accident. That was a reason to forbid me going home during the weekend. I was afraid of the staff. Every error made them to punish me hard. In the fifth month, a doctor found out I had Asperger Syndrome. But then I started having problems with my doctor. At this point, its important you know that i have 2 friends with Asperger, who work at the same place as me at the moment, who went to the same psychiatry and who had exactly the same problem with this doctor. The doctor, who knew I went to the psychiatry because I couldn't support school, tried to get me fit for school again. Also, he didn't write me a report confirming I had Asperger, which was disgusting from his part. We got the report one year later. I didn't want to go back at all, that's why the doctor sent me a social worker, who wasn't very symphatic, and who explained me that I would be under 18, that's why I would have to do 3 or 4 more school years. If I would refuse going to school, she would remove me from my parents. I took her message serious, and after 1 month of intensive training, they sent me back to school again. They sent me to a school which works together with them. I was now free from psychiatry. The problem is, that I, after two weeks, felt anxious again and had exactly the same problems as before. I refused to go to school again. My parents were now terrified. Not only me, but also them, went through a lot of things already. Now they did fear that social workers would remove me from them. And everything we feared happened: The social worker of my school called the other social worker in the psychiatry, and after talking with her, they invited my parents to the school. Without me. That's the day where they told my parents: If your son won't come to school, he won't go home. We will take him away and put him in a special college until he is 21. My parents didn't know what to do now, and tried forcing me to go to school. We had a lot of disputes during that period, and I was depressive and felt suicidal. My parents then called an organisation which represents the rights of autism. They told us that, if we would have troubles with the social workers, they would defend us. They also told us that some families hadn't been as lucky as we, and that their autistic son was already put away from their parents. Now we felt safer, and I didn't go to school. However, I was still psychically ill, that's why I had to go to psychiatry again, but only for a week. I had a dispute with my doctor there, and also with the social worker, because they didn't want to accept it that way. I went there to get rid of my depressions, however, they wanted to discuss about school again. (As they already knew me) These incompetent idiots didn't treat me for my depressions during my One-week stay! It sounds stupid to go back to that place after having that much troubles with the staff there, but my depressions were really strong, and as I said, I also felt suicidal. After all these troubles, it is normal that we had never contact with the doctor, social workers and staff ever again. Except that we called the doctor a lot of times to get my report.

 

Now I am 16 years old, I work in a community for Autistic people, and I met two boys which had the same things happen to them. There are other autistic people which weren't that lucky, and which won't see their family until the age of 21.

 

My English sucks, and I didn't tell a lot of things, but feel free to ask me everything you want if you are worried about something in my post!

 

Kind regards, David

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Not to be rude or downplay anything, but things like this go in your blog.

 

Please don't think I'm being rude -.-

Heh, all of that tradgedy in a post and your only comment was "It's in the wrong place". Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a go, I just found it pretty amusing. Are you English by any chance, because that would certainly explain it. :)

 

On topic though, that really is quite a life story, and at just 16 years too. I find your strength of character to be pretty impressive to be honest. It makes an interesting read too. I'd much rather read the story of someones life in which events carry actual meaning, as opposed to all of the idiotic politicians "Diaries" that keep popping up.

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I find your strength of character to be pretty impressive to be honest.

I agree. You have really great character; Don't you forget that.

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That's really awful. You're one brave person, being able to live through all of those hardships, and share your stories. Hopefully you're life's heading in a better direction.

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I have Aspeger's Syndrome as well. I was diagnosed at age 10, and I was given special ed/help that other students didn't get. When I was little, I acted out in front of other kids, and got sent to the principal's office a lot. Since about 6th grade, i've been quiet and reserved, though I now have one good friend, so i've made some progress.

 

I can identify with your situation somewhat, as I always felt different from other kids. It's sort of ironic for me, really- I ended up getting in a lot of trouble when I was a kid while the other kids were fine; now the opposite is true. -.-

 

 

I was never bullied/beaten on, probably because it's cracked down on harder here in the U.S. I admire your courage and resolve; it's very difficult going through life with undiagnosed A.S. Good luck with your future. =)

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Off-topic: I would like to point out that new people have a 1/10 chance of knowing were the blog system is. Like me for example, I even READ the news post but didn't find Blogs until 2 months later, of course I joined in 06 so how this happened I don't know...

 

-Long RL Story below-

On-topic: I feel your pain. I have a friend with Aspergers. In 8th grade people were bullying him constantly, the teachers gave the bully's detentions and suspensions constantly, but no matter what the teachers (They did ALOT to try to stop them) did, they just kept bullying him and attacking him, even in his own home (They followed him home).

 

So anyway enough was enough, they followed him from school one day (Silently) and as he went inside he ran out the back and when the bullies went inside he ran down the street loudly to get their attention and led them to a back alley were he appeared to be cornered and alone. And with my help (I had brought enough nerds to equal the bullies. Nerds at my school however should be on the football team as they are stronger then them) turned the tables on them and pulled a mock of what they did to him (We didn't actually fight, we intimidated them by closing in on them. Wimps). Next day we all walked in a group down the hall and everyone cheered because we fought off the schools top 14 bullies, something everyone didn't do. They of which got ISS (In-School-Suspension) the minute they walked in, we didn't because we didn't fight. My friend is now the most respected person in 10th grade. But what about the bullies? They try to bully people still, but people just laugh at them and say:

"Oh really? This is coming from the bullies who got owned by 14 Nerds, an Obsessive video gamer and a kid with Aspergers. Wimps!"

 

/longRLstory

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That's really bad. I thought my childhood was bad, but it was just a bit boring. Not actually as bad as that.

 

I find your strength of character to be pretty impressive to be honest.

I agree. You have really great character; Don't you forget that.

I agree too.

 

Not to be rude or downplay anything, but things like this go in your blog.

 

Please don't think I'm being rude -.-

Heh, all of that tradgedy in a post and your only comment was "It's in the wrong place". Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a go, I just found it pretty amusing. Are you English by any chance, because that would certainly explain it. :)

 

On topic though, that really is quite a life story, and at just 16 years too. I find your strength of character to be pretty impressive to be honest. It makes an interesting read too. I'd much rather read the story of someones life in which events carry actual meaning, as opposed to all of the idiotic politicians "Diaries" that keep popping up.

I'm not trying to downplay his character, in fact it's a rather amazing story. I just don't want it to be closed for being out of place, or smacked by trolls :)

To be honest if it was in the blogs it would be smacked by trolls just as much. But I agree, this would probably be better in a blog post.

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I'm not going to sugar coat this for you, there is a right place, and a wrong place for this kind of thread, this is the wrong place.

 

You're too casual, and too loud, this slap-together "pour me another" display you've laid out for your audience makes me think you're nothing more than an attention seeker. I've met people with problems, hell i've got my own demons my room is full of them, but i didn't go down like this....on a public foruml, i mean come on how much more loose can you get?

 

If it's attention you're seeking then slap a banner on your back with your issues printed in big red letters then run up the main street swinging a cow bell, that'll get attention.

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You are a strong person who has nothing but admiration and praise from me. Despite you condition and the pain you endured, you managed to bring yourself through and now you stand with an open canvas in which one can paint his life whatever he wants it to be like without the prejudice and discrimination of those bigots.

 

My prayers are with you and I can only wish you luck in that your life will go in your direction from now on. Well done indeed my friend. -.-

 

Now for the serious part...

 

It's not sympathy this man needs. It's our praise. We need to focus on the message he is trying to convey. That he was one one of the luck once who avoided the misdiagnosis the apathy shown by elements of our society to those with conditions such as dyslexia, autism and so forth. This should be a wake up call for all of us that there are people out there, suffering that deserves our love and attention.

 

If it's attention you're seeking then slap a banner on your back with your issues printed in big red letters then run up the main street swinging a cow bell, that'll get attention.

 

You my friend lack empathy and totally missed what he was trying to put forward. Read it again before rushing to conclusions.

Edited by Phoenix Rider

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You are a strong person who has nothing but admiration and praise from me. Despite you condition and the pain you endured, you managed to bring yourself through and now you stand with an open canvas in which one can paint his life whatever he wants it to be like without the prejudice and discrimination of those bigots.

 

My prayers are with you and I can only wish you luck in that your life will go in your direction from now on. Well done indeed my friend. -.-

 

Now for the serious part...

 

It's not sympathy this man needs. It's our praise. We need to focus on the message he is trying to convey. That he was one one of the luck once who avoided the misdiagnosis the apathy shown by elements of our society to those with conditions such as dyslexia, autism and so forth. This should be a wake up call for all of us that there are people out there, suffering that deserves our love and attention.

 

If it's attention you're seeking then slap a banner on your back with your issues printed in big red letters then run up the main street swinging a cow bell, that'll get attention.

 

You my friend lack empathy and totally missed what he was trying to put forward. Read it again before rushing to conclusions.

I'm not your friend, and i've made my conclusion thank you very much sir.

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I'd much rather read the story of someones life in which events carry actual meaning, as opposed to all of the idiotic politicians "Diaries" that keep popping up.

Damn, and here I thought here in the US we had the cheesy politicians.

 

It's a good read though I agree with Morte. Which is why I've been doing that... -.-

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I'm not going to sugar coat this for you, there is a right place, and a wrong place for this kind of thread, this is the wrong place.

 

You're too casual, and too loud, this slap-together "pour me another" display you've laid out for your audience makes me think you're nothing more than an attention seeker. I've met people with problems, hell i've got my own demons my room is full of them, but i didn't go down like this....on a public foruml, i mean come on how much more loose can you get?

 

If it's attention you're seeking then slap a banner on your back with your issues printed in big red letters then run up the main street swinging a cow bell, that'll get attention.

 

You got the wrong message, and you also lack of respect. Sorry! -.-

 

I wanted to write this down to let people know that Autistic people are still disrespected in our society, and that some autistic people are even punished, taken away from their families, without having done anything wrong I didn't want any attention. As Phoenix Rider said:

It's not sympathy this man needs. It's our praise. We need to focus on the message he is trying to convey. That he was one one of the luck once who avoided the misdiagnosis the apathy shown by elements of our society to those with conditions such as dyslexia, autism and so forth. This should be a wake up call for all of us that there are people out there, suffering that deserves our love and attention.

 

Phoenix Rider got the right message :)

 

PEACE AND LOVE, DAVID :)

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I'm not going to sugar coat this for you, there is a right place, and a wrong place for this kind of thread, this is the wrong place.

 

You're too casual, and too loud, this slap-together "pour me another" display you've laid out for your audience makes me think you're nothing more than an attention seeker. I've met people with problems, hell i've got my own demons my room is full of them, but i didn't go down like this....on a public foruml, i mean come on how much more loose can you get?

 

If it's attention you're seeking then slap a banner on your back with your issues printed in big red letters then run up the main street swinging a cow bell, that'll get attention.

 

You got the wrong message, and you also lack of respect. Sorry! -.-

 

Respect is earned, silence and discretion about these kinds of issues would've won respect from me. Alas, you get nothing.

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I'm not going to sugar coat this for you, there is a right place, and a wrong place for this kind of thread, this is the wrong place.

 

You're too casual, and too loud, this slap-together "pour me another" display you've laid out for your audience makes me think you're nothing more than an attention seeker. I've met people with problems, hell i've got my own demons my room is full of them, but i didn't go down like this....on a public foruml, i mean come on how much more loose can you get?

 

If it's attention you're seeking then slap a banner on your back with your issues printed in big red letters then run up the main street swinging a cow bell, that'll get attention.

 

You got the wrong message, and you also lack of respect. Sorry! :wizard:

 

Respect is earned, silence and discretion about these kinds of issues would've won respect from me. Alas, you get nothing.

I think Vahino was kind of using this to speak out about his experiences, to show that people with aspergers, or autism, or something else, still get picked on for that kind of thing.

What I saw from you was nothing better than flame. I don't honestly think he wants your respect.

 

edit: [/wannabemod]

I don't want to be a mod, it just sounds like that, from what I said.

 

 

 

Edited by Herz

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I'm not going to sugar coat this for you, there is a right place, and a wrong place for this kind of thread, this is the wrong place.

 

You're too casual, and too loud, this slap-together "pour me another" display you've laid out for your audience makes me think you're nothing more than an attention seeker. I've met people with problems, hell i've got my own demons my room is full of them, but i didn't go down like this....on a public foruml, i mean come on how much more loose can you get?

 

If it's attention you're seeking then slap a banner on your back with your issues printed in big red letters then run up the main street swinging a cow bell, that'll get attention.

 

You got the wrong message, and you also lack of respect. Sorry! :wizard:

 

Respect is earned, silence and discretion about these kinds of issues would've won respect from me. Alas, you get nothing.

I think Vahino was kind of using this to speak out about his experiences, to show that people with aspergers, or autism, or something else, still get picked on for that kind of thing.

What I saw from you was nothing better than flame. I don't honestly think he wants your respect.

 

edit: [/wannabemod]

I don't want to be a mod, it just sounds like that, from what I said.

 

 

 

Sharing out experiences huh? seeking praise and attention is all i see.

 

What you call flame, i call saying the things that are on all our minds but no one has the nuts to say, if I'm flaming then your accusations make you guilty of the same crime, thus you're going to the same hell.

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What you call flame, i call saying the things that are on all our minds but no one has the nuts to say

Not really. If I wanted to say it, I would, but I don't actually think that way.

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Sorry about your life, and you deserve the highest award for your strength and bravery. I have 2 great reads for you: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, by Mark Haddon, and Look me in the Eye, by John Robison. Both are stories of autistic people, and although the first one is fictional, I think it will give you some more stories about the abuse of Autistic people.

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What you call flame, i call saying the things that are on all our minds but no one has the nuts to say

Not really. If I wanted to say it, I would, but I don't actually think that way.

Good for you, next goal, nobel prize, if you actually think such qualities make you better than the next man you've got another thing coming to you in the game of life.

 

Drop me a message when it all works out too, the nobel prize i mean.

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To be totally different in this.

 

If David want's praise from me I give him my respect.

To show that autistim is still very much unknown in many countries.

 

To those that are trying to hard in tell everyone of their own opinions.

I'd like to point out to Jecht that David if true to his post already shows that he doesn't like talking to people in real life. Who is to say that this is his time to express his feelings. True he is shy but do you really need to flame someone because they just want to get out some inside emotion. Just because he doesn't show his feelings the same way you do does not make David wrong.

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Guest Emanick

It's not against the rules to talk about your personal life in General Chat, Jecht. Things that are solely about you belong in your blog (although clearly, Vahino, being new, isn't to know that :)), but this topic is more to raise awareness about what people with Aspberger's go through than to raise awareness about Vahino's personal life life, I feel. In other words - if it's discussion worthy and not solely personal, then it can go in General Chat.

 

Vahino, you have my admiration. I too have Aspberger's, but I've been far, far more fortunate and have rarely met any sort of discrimination for my condition - certainly not anything approaching what you've had to go through. I applaud your courage and ability to withstand everything you did. -.-

 

It really does make a difference having supportive parents, and I hope you appreciate what your parents have done to keep you with them - as I'm sure you do. Also, your English is quite good; the only thing you might want to work on is splitting your paragraphs into several portions for easier reading, and that's extremely easy. :)

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It's not against the rules to talk about your personal life in General Chat, Jecht. Things that are solely about you belong in your blog (although clearly, Vahino, being new, isn't to know that :)), but this topic is more to raise awareness about what people with Aspberger's go through than to raise awareness about Vahino's personal life life, I feel. In other words - if it's discussion worthy and not solely personal, then it can go in General Chat.

 

Vahino, you have my admiration. I too have Aspberger's, but I've been far, far more fortunate and have rarely met any sort of discrimination for my condition - certainly not anything approaching what you've had to go through. I applaud your courage and ability to withstand everything you did. -.-

 

It really does make a difference having supportive parents, and I hope you appreciate what your parents have done to keep you with them - as I'm sure you do. Also, your English is quite good; the only thing you might want to work on is splitting your paragraphs into several portions for easier reading, and that's extremely easy. :)

 

Lol very true, much respect for your post.

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What you call flame, i call saying the things that are on all our minds but no one has the nuts to say

Not really. If I wanted to say it, I would, but I don't actually think that way.

Good for you, next goal, nobel prize, if you actually think such qualities make you better than the next man you've got another thing coming to you in the game of life.

 

Drop me a message when it all works out too, the nobel prize i mean.

I don't think they make me better than the next person, actually, I don't even know where I hinted at that. I just think that really, it's stupid to flame someone for writing something like this.

 

It's not against the rules to talk about your personal life in General Chat, Jecht. Things that are solely about you belong in your blog (although clearly, Vahino, being new, isn't to know that :)), but this topic is more to raise awareness about what people with Aspberger's go through than to raise awareness about Vahino's personal life life, I feel. In other words - if it's discussion worthy and not solely personal, then it can go in General Chat.

 

Vahino, you have my admiration. I too have Aspberger's, but I've been far, far more fortunate and have rarely met any sort of discrimination for my condition - certainly not anything approaching what you've had to go through. I applaud your courage and ability to withstand everything you did. -.-

 

It really does make a difference having supportive parents, and I hope you appreciate what your parents have done to keep you with them - as I'm sure you do. Also, your English is quite good; the only thing you might want to work on is splitting your paragraphs into several portions for easier reading, and that's extremely easy. :)

 

Lol very true, much respect for your post.

Nice sucking up to the mods.

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It's not against the rules to talk about your personal life in General Chat, Jecht. Things that are solely about you belong in your blog (although clearly, Vahino, being new, isn't to know that :)), but this topic is more to raise awareness about what people with Aspberger's go through than to raise awareness about Vahino's personal life life, I feel. In other words - if it's discussion worthy and not solely personal, then it can go in General Chat.

 

Vahino, you have my admiration. I too have Aspberger's, but I've been far, far more fortunate and have rarely met any sort of discrimination for my condition - certainly not anything approaching what you've had to go through. I applaud your courage and ability to withstand everything you did. -.-

 

It really does make a difference having supportive parents, and I hope you appreciate what your parents have done to keep you with them - as I'm sure you do. Also, your English is quite good; the only thing you might want to work on is splitting your paragraphs into several portions for easier reading, and that's extremely easy. :)

 

Lol very true, much respect for your post.

 

I love the way you made a complete 180 degree turn and is siding with Emanick's observation right now when I stressed exactly the same in the first page with you rejecting it as a conclusion.

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