Emanick 1 Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) to prove i am man who can write the good haiku if i so do choose i display my work that displays my utter lack of artistic taste moreover, it shows that i have no fear of the fear of the unknown Even capital letters can be used sometimes e.e. cummings lol example Tsunayoshi isstealthy like the bumblebee many feel his sting fewer know his name fewer still have seen his face none have known his mind invisible cats even they are clumsy fools next to his prestige trackless he goes forth into the obscurity of a life of night why does yoshi leave some must watch while some must sleep he has shown us truth Library of haikus -REAP- -REAP- is quite a stud he belongs in jacket cuff or a tux collar or he could be in cowboy costume on reagan cowboys love their studs know what's real funny? -reap- wants to be human now what a silly guy what would england be without studs in tuxedos? way less pretentious but we do not want ethnic cleansing that destroys all studs in the land so we simply say -reap-, sir, you are good to go sing the caged bird free Admiral Admiral is fat and it remains to be seen what he may become he may be awesome a rider of hurricanes in a ferrari he may be a star showing broadway how to dance while on eight foot stilts he may be a stud making hockey look boring in the super bowl he may be a king issuing mighty decrees banning englishmen but right now he is just another fat diner chowing down on broth AK-47 Ak-fortysev i cannot finish his name haikus are stupid why do i do this alas, such is my cruel fate let me draw my gun Ak-fortysev why cannot i fire you deep into my head oh right i forgot there aren't enough syllables i apologize Ak-fortysev your name is absurdly long i suggest you change what human beings need above all else is air - crime and punishment Ambo100 Ambo100 lord of all that he surveys except everything this makes ambo sad so he hatches a good plan to rule everything he will write a play it will win him lots of fame; he'll buy everything but this doesn't work mods come out of a beehive; spoil everything so ambo is mad straps himself to rocket ship; blows up everything now the world is dark nothing left for him to rule except everything Borghilde Borghilde is Tabt her name change is silly lol my life is absurd i no longer know what is up and what is down and what is pointy save my bleeding hands change your name back now tabt why ruin my life every night i cry tears pool up into a pond, thus i wet the bed now my town is flood rivers wash away the roads all from tears you cause i don't understand why suddenly up is down i pull out my spleen Conspicuous Conspicuous ain't quite the kind of chap for you because he's too good he makes coasters fly he's a freaking engineer that makes playdoh swim when he walks down street, people swoon and turn their heads not in that order then he engineers all their bodies to stand up and sing "billy mays" that song has the tune of "penny lane" by beatles except it is loud conspicuous won giant music festival without singing once but great minds bring strife one day he will meet his match then we will know truth Drvalar Drvalar is bro how bro nobody may know he is too hipster hipsters are not bros "hide contradiction in terms" drvalar tells mom so drvalar's mom prints up misinformation, posts it around town "HIPSTERS ARE NOW BROS" massive posters on walls say people could care less the next night at camp drvalar chokes on his juice, vomits oreos bro status is gone drvalar is full hipster his life is complete Easl Easl has no shame he will fortify his nest with sharp rocks and twigs even though he knows that he is a gorgeous bird who deserves better people come to him they say, "easl, why don't you change your silly ways" easl don't reply he is too preoccupied with his rainbow jeans this is why we can't have the nice things that we love: easl's rainbow jeans Ej_ Ej underscore he underscores more than naught he underscores life if you walk down street sipping soda from a cup that is underscored if you rob a bank, get caught and sent to the clink, that is underscored if the yankees play red sox and score zero runs that is underscored (haha get it guys?? i just made a silly pun ...wow i'm really sad) whenever you do anything at all in life thank ej for it Emo Nemo Emo Nemo is a cool rhyme that i wish i had thought of in past but now past is gone future steaming full ahead present sitting, sad whoops present is gone it got run over by train thanks, emo nemo why did you derail the tangent of the present stupid emo fish whoever put fish in their new ivy league schools needs a talking to now they derail things like time-space continuum thanks, emo nemo Falzar Falzar: Lord of Mud he can make the sky collapse with the weight of mud that he summons from eagle eyrie in the sky eagles collect mud eyries open up from different dimensions yo they bring forth more mud eagles have moved on they no longer live up there too much mud in nests this is falzar's fault he ruined ecosystem of their dimension i blame obama epa is useless guys it can't save a thing falzar now has won he is a republican cue dramatic drums Herty Herty, humble soul dwelling in a little hut near the bayou shore sometimes he logs on checks his email and sees scams, then opens their links then he loses cash off his brand new credit card herty doesn't care herty sparkles in midday bayou sunlight streams because he is vamp and vamps can rob banks remotely, from little swamps via undead apps so the days go on progress and congress wrestle herty watches, learns Hunter Hunter thinks that he deserves haikus that are more special than the rest why does hunter think that this is oligarchy? (he is right, but still) haikus go to men who are made of sterner stuff than hunter sometimes they deserve better haikus than hunter receives but hunter has guns so i will make these haikus the best ever made sacre bleu, world Inca Inca is a man unpossessed of dignity or so you would think you should see his lair sparkling with a thousand gems taken from his foes and his dainty shoes that he keeps beneath his robe they're high-heeled you know he is quite a guy but nobody knows this yet because he is noob incas get no slack first they get killed by spaniards then no one loves them so the world turns this just in: INCAS WIN LIFE, LOSE THE HUMAN RACE Joe The Twin Joe The Twin is love love is where the heart comes from and what keeps it dry these are both cool things that joe the twin does daily but dryness is best because all dry hearts radiate a lovely smell like persephone and persephone is a reference to greek gods you could be greek too! but alas, you're not so joe the twin cannot help no sweet smell for you lesson learning time! greek debt crisis isn't bad next to sopping hearts Kemosabe Kemosabe is dead long live the kemosabe, guys he's already back and he brought some friends and they are not phoenixs unlike kemosabe kemosabe has friends who are worse than skeletons because they smell worse he sics them on folks who deny that he is king of the phoenixes unfortunately his reign comes to a sad end when he starts to moult Kyo Kyo: enigma nobody knows who he is this is pretty bad when he's MIA nobody ever calls him because he is gone when he's still on sals nobody ever calls him (sals does not have phones) when he's IRL nobody ever calls him they just text instead but they don't hear back kyo will not speak to them Kyo: enigma Kyra10987 Kyra109 i cannot finish her name on one freaking line why do people pick such outrageously long names it ruins my life kyra mocks my cries she throws trowel at my face, says "get used to it" this is pretty rude i despair and gnash my teeth she lifts up my chin and stares in my eyes "move on with your life" she coos i think i'm in love kyra, come back here stop biking away from me i want your number Liger Liger is a beast lion and tiger combined? holy hemorrhoids he can stalk his prey through the jungles of mumbai jk, no trees there he can stalk his prey through the new york skyline scene jk, he'd get shot he can stalk his prey in the runescape of our past jk, he quit game how then can he eat? how will he raise a new race? will he dance for food? it appears he will dancing ligers have no shame son i watch in awe Lute Lute is ambience he is but a background noise to the stage of life he lights up our lives with the sound of thunder, rage and a rabbit's squeal without lute who knows? we might live in silent screams or hypotheses that our lives were moot we might formulate dull plans to bring down the earth oh wait we still do that means lute must not exist forget all i've said i'm really confused someone check my logic here he should def exist or maybe we're all just dreaming a lucid dream of his glorious sounds Mikeyy Mikeyy claims to hate his claims are quite tenuous they are tried in court court says mikeyy fails evidence is just not there to show mikeyy "hates" mikeyy now is mad it's obvious now: he HATES but court does not care "double jeopardy, lololololololol" says justice roberts mikeyy now is mad he does not understand law and hates jeopardy so he burns down court court flees into nearby woods mikeyy burns down woods finally, police they try mikeyy for hate crimes happy ending yay Mista Hardrune Mista Hardrune runs mista hardune's neighborhood it is v good show featured on fox news and labeled "what not to do if ur successful" his neighborhood is overrun by angry trolls eating boys and girls this is all because people there made poor choices and foreclosed their homes bad economies always cause troll invasions this is proven fact fox news got it right mista hardrune's neighborhood: good for slayer tasks always remember fair and balanced never means no lethality Mr FANG Mr FANG: so keen his teeth are a bullet's mouth sharper than a sword but they are so small bullets are diminutive teeth are smaller still even sharpish teeth are useless in street battles when microscopic but fang has a plan he will go to the dentist; get them gamma ray'd now The Fang is back his teeth excrete gamma rays bitten foes die quick goodbye manhattan hope you like radiation ^ mr fang's last words N3wb N3wb is a regret embodying emptiness of a bitter man men are trading bonds while the homeless walk their dogs past the endless void this is all n3wb's fault he's a freaking liberal and won't make things right because politics is the sin of man's desire and desires fail n3wb knows this too well his regret is for his son who dropped his ice cream what a bitter man he won't buy another scoop growing boys need food Naota Naota is here he has brought the party home let us now rejoice gosh what could we do without his festive spirits we'd collapse in grief in these turbid times he gives us a clear reason to forsake our fears "hola monsieur Sal!" cries our sombrero-clad pal, arm in arm with fate where naota treads fiestas delight to dance as does michael fox "delorean's here!" shouts the pizza guy in joy michael fox takes off with him goes our pal the party dies pretty fast i hate diet coke Po22 Po22 lives why he lives i do not know how he lives i do: fishing for a life forged from the most precious gold deep beneath the sea this is v silly why does po22 think golden lives are things also if they were they would be in rainforests not the deep blue sea but if po finds life that is made of solid gold he will be happy and happiness is better than the greatest pie because it can last Ramon Ramon's awful proud he looks up to captain crunch and says "you are low" then he looks to mars and says "wow, your big canals? i could wade in them" then captain crunch says "i outrank you, y'know, son life in prison's fun" ramon is in jail he surveys the cold stone walls, finds no light or hope then epiphany! home is where the heart is guys ramon is still home though his pride is gone ramon finally is free he has found his "place" get it? that's a pun one's "place" tends to be one's home ... ... ...well this is awkward Richman99 Richman99: hero of the soviets he is very strong he eats machine parts as well as americans for afternoon tea he can melt the side of an u.s. navy ship with his laser eyes with great power comes great responsibility he sleeps once a week every may day richman puts on commie socks and jumps into sea then he drowns himself and regains his undead strength (zombies are commies) did you think that rich was a nice human being??? check mafia thread Samsara Samsara has come to represent the sublime love of skydiving who is he kidding? he represents no such thing what an avatar it is good for naught but the scrap pile and should be burned with the chaff dms should be fined for dealing in skydiving without love of art art is only thing that redeems the long career of the samsara long he waits for art longer still has 'art' for him he must take next step Scrum Scrum is helium this makes him a party guest people inhale him he is popular he's also invisible plus he has no soul this is a bad life he can't star in hollywood; he's a noble gas gasses can't get paid "they're not people" u.s. says "so they don't have rights" this ruins scrum's life except that he has no life he has noble gas scrum escapes from earth cries himself to sleep at last among asteroids gasses cannot cry but this was an exception for dramatic flair Shen Shen is a modest (amodest is different than immodest, you see) immodest implies that shen is pretentious fool like richard nixon while modest implies that shen's reasonably nice (which he is, but still) amodest, meanwhile, means shen isn't either thing (this is wrong y'know) my premise is flawed wow this haiku's terrible shen i have failed you always stay true to what you believe is correct Godspeed to you, shen Sleepy Sleepy is a word oft reserved for those aboard choo-choo trains of death yet this fellow who has the name of the fellow who requests this verse has a sunny kind of energy that may keep him up past midnight plaguing the infirm, victims of a matchless bot called reality that marches onward through the ages into dusk programming the night sleepy cares not for the sad aeroplane of life he just wants his verse Sryen Sryen's summer blues evaporate into foam floating on a pond he sees ice cream truck driving at 10mph sryen hops on back driver yells "what up" sryen shouts "i need ice cream" response? "get a life" sryen scales the roof; climbs in side of ice cream truck, KOs ice cream man ah, the joy of sweets! mint chocolate chip a-team pop! such a spiffing taste carpe diem guys seize the day this fine summer, scale an ice cream truck Tcmp3 Tcmp3 he was born american and will die that way for i have my ways i'm in touch with al qaeda on my new ipad he beat me in golf so now i must have his head boy i'm really mad al qaeda hates me they answered my message wrong; said "don't play the fool" i call up my foe tcmp3 picks up i yell "time for sobs!" he doesn't get it, offers golf tutoring class this is good enough Twist of Fate Twist of Fate is cool doesn't afraid of nothing he's afraid of stuff being scared is cool if you're scared you twist and shout he is twist and shout or at least i mean that is my pet name for him its on his doghouse and hes in doghouse even though he has no warns blame jimmy hendrix those who are about to rock, we salute you, gusy ur all in doghouse thanks to all you guys twist of fate's in doghouse too good job obama Uther Uther Pendragon that is not this poem's theme disregard this verse Uther is a small his girlfriend's a medium they make good couple but one day they STOP brazil outlaws heteros uther is outlaw now he's sad and stuff; loses house though not gf they go live in barn barnes and nobles though so they can read lots of books they become real smart so uther and girl make big bucks cause they are smart, run country, make laws THEY HAVE SAVED CHRISTMAS always remember, straight folks you owe uther big Whiskas Whiskas my dear dad i love you more than my son because he is lame you are quite some chap because you make my blue eyes stream like mountain streams when you tell me tales of how you will die someday in a rhino nest it is a sad thing that i am too young to know rhinos don't have nests but sleep now, my dad even though you are british you still need your rest Zooey Zooey is a chap of infinite taste and grace and velocity when he goes in dive, (nosedive into giant pool) zooey makes great splash splashes without tact would arouse the heartless wrath of the envy sin but he is no fool he tempers his splash with wit saying "i am cold" cold indeed he is thus always unto tyrants yet he's warm inside _max _max is a great king well-endowed with treasure hordes from his villagers but yet he is faced with a great budget surplus health budget is maxed!!! what can_maxie do? he won't lower tax rate of hundred twelve percent all nations nearby are equipped with thermonukes war can never be _maxie has a plan he spends budget all on fish, wipes out ocean life let this parable teach you something about life high tax rates kill fish Waitlist: 1. Adam? 2. Fatalysm 3. Smilefishy 4. Lilshu 5. Jethraw 6. Guitarguy 7. Minimus 8. Gonzyy 9. Da Scotsman 10. The Prodigy 11. Wert 12. Goggie Edited July 20, 2011 by Emanick Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samsara 46 Posted July 5, 2011 Hello sir Eman I noticed you make poem Me next p l z Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emanick 1 Posted July 5, 2011 Samsara has come to represent the sublime love of skydiving who is he kidding? he represents no such thing what an avatar it is good for naught but the scrap pile and should be burned with the chaff dms should be fined for dealing in skydiving without love of art art is only thing that redeems the long career of the samsara long he waits for art longer still has 'art' for him he must take next step Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samsara 46 Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) eman makes haiku about anybody who wants but they do not know there are two options eman grasps for random thought or he makes fun of either way you will feel disappointed slightly with a dreary sigh my avatar is not even skydiving, jeez he's an astronaut Edited July 5, 2011 by Samsara Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sleepy 14 Posted July 5, 2011 Howdy one in green What haiku is there for me? Will it be sunny? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emanick 1 Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) Zooey is a chap of infinite taste and grace and velocity when he goes in dive, (nosedive into giant pool) zooey makes great splash splashes without tact would arouse the heartless wrath of the envy sin but he is no fool he tempers his splash with wit saying "i am cold" cold indeed he is thus always unto tyrants yet he's warm inside ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ Sleepy is a word oft reserved for those aboard choo-choo trains of death yet this fellow who has the name of the fellow who requests this verse has a sunny kind of energy that may keep him up past midnight plaguing the infirm, victims of a matchless bot called reality that marches onward through the ages into dusk programming the night sleepy cares not for the sad aeroplane of life he just wants his verse Edited July 5, 2011 by Emanick Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arianna 750 Posted July 5, 2011 do me please I thought you'd never ask Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tree 11 Posted July 5, 2011 Haikus are awesome Eman is handing them out Birds shat on my car Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arianna 750 Posted July 5, 2011 Haikus are nice Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Po22 0 Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) Write a poem about me please Also redmonke isn't Mussolini plz stop Edited July 5, 2011 by Po22 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arianna 750 Posted July 5, 2011 (edited) Abomination Infinitesimally Triangulated Edit: lol it's totally for Po22 Edited July 5, 2011 by Arianna Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hunter 152 Posted July 5, 2011 I will hav best hiakus?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kemosabe 194 Posted July 5, 2011 babe, i'd like one. ty Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
O hai im KAMIL 540 Posted July 5, 2011 dont write one about me lets see if he can resist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zooey 732 Posted July 5, 2011 do me please I thought you'd never ask I thought you'd never want to Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskas 33 Posted July 5, 2011 Hi son can I have a haiku please Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Easl 1 Posted July 5, 2011 Do me like a bird In the sky, no care at all Otherwise I'll cry Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arianna 750 Posted July 5, 2011 to prove i am manno, ur emanick impersonator sux Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Inca 0 Posted July 5, 2011 Count me in the queue. :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herty 38 Posted July 5, 2011 Will you write me one Please I would enjoy it so Thanks for reading this That was a terrible haiku by me >_> Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twist of Fate 290 Posted July 5, 2011 Eman do me next I have furry public hair It sits on my head Also here's my poetry: I never step into the light of day My skin is pale gray I growed a high forehead Big blowout sale @ mens warehouse You'll like the way you look Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
