Mr X Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 I have been going out with my gf since around springtime. I have been faithful to her since she puts out and I know for a fact she has been faithful to me. Its futile talking about our relationship, we ve got a great relationship with great chemistry and I love to joke around and act like a perv at times. She knows about my past(lots of fooling around) and used to give me shizzle about that. I was giving her a ride to work the other day and she was saying how her friend wants to be a born again virgin or some **** like that. I said it was;nt worth dating someone that doesn't put out and she, of course, did not agree. I told her most guys who date girls who don't out out are usually guys who are not very good with girls. I would never date one because well, it s a waste of time. I did hang out with a girl who said she wanted to wait but, lets just say after we hung out a couple times, it was'nt the case. I want to know from users around here that 1) are you in a relationship in which your gf is "waiting" 2) would you genuinely wait on a girl if she wanted to save herself BUT was not religious? I would like to hear examples and experiences on this. If I had great chemistry, as I do with my GF, with a girl who wanted to "wait" I would have no problem dating her, but that's because I knew I could crack the code so to speak.
Fatalysm Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 What's wrong with a woman who has a little self respect? I personally waited for the right person to come along (who actually turned out to be the wrong person). But still, I could have had sex, but I chose to wait. It's not our right to pass judgement on something that is not ours to take. Of course, unless your interests are heading down the same road, you aren't likely to be together anyway. Sex is just another one of those things.
Mr X Posted January 13, 2012 Author Posted January 13, 2012 I was talking to a girl about this today who is in a relationship, a 1.5 yr one. I asked her about it and got into depth with the topic. she at one point said " I'm just waiting for the right guy" I was quite stunned.
Adam? Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 I wouldn't make the mistake of being in a long-term relationship as a freshman in college.
Beret Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 I wouldn't make the mistake of being in a long-term relationship as a freshman in college. Pretty much this. Why strain yourself? If a girl doesn't want to put out, fine, but don't expect me to hang around. Sex is sex, and if isn't mutually accepted then it will simply not work out.
Mr X Posted January 13, 2012 Author Posted January 13, 2012 I guess the problem is that some girls and even guys, make sex into a bigger deal than it really is.
Eye Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 I guess the problem is that some girls and even guys, make sex into a bigger deal than it really is. Sort of your opinion though, other people can have different opinions. I dated a girl for two years who wouldn't have sex, but I wouldn't necessarily do it again, but I wouldn't outright search for girls who would be willing to have sex. Just depends on the person. Plus nowadays people don't seem to have many boundaries about it anymore.
20000_Posts Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 I guess the problem is that some girls and even guys, make sex into a bigger deal than it really is. Kinda like what you're doing.
LP Forever Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 if she's waiting for the right person to come along that's actually a good thing in my eyes. she's less likely to sell herself short to the first guy who comes along, and then the second and the third and the fourth and by the time you get to her you aren't sure if she's faithful because to her sex isn't a big deal and her body isn't sacred. if she's waiting it means to me that she's more likely to be faithful and throw herself at the first guy she sees
Emo Nemo Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 (edited) Depends on the situation really. If its long term at the minimum I want to be able to fool around, but if she's super prude then no go. Edited January 13, 2012 by Emo Nemo
Bob-sama Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 It depends really. I've done it before. I'd be more concerned about building up to sexual intimacy; not getting any for a few months is fine so long as there's progress and mutual attraction. I've also not continued new relationships because of sexual incompatibility. If I was to be stonewalled until our wedding night, hell no that's not okay.
Mr FANG Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 I guess the problem is that some girls and even guys, make sex into a bigger deal than it really is. Kinda like what you're doing. It's a bit of an ironic quote. It could go both ways but either way it conveys a similar meaning. As for OP, probably not. How long is long term?
LP Forever Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 It depends really. I've done it before. I'd be more concerned about building up to sexual intimacy; not getting any for a few months is fine so long as there's progress and mutual attraction. I've also not continued new relationships because of sexual incompatibility. If I was to be stonewalled until our wedding night, hell no that's not okay. I would honestly be okay with waiting till marriage. It means more then. It's not just a moment of pleasure then. It's a way to show passion and love that wouldn't be shown if you didn't wait. Like I said earlier if sex is just something she just doles out whenever she feels like it, then what's it really mean? I guess what I'm saying is love means a lot more to me than half an hour or an hour of pleasure.
Bob-sama Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 It depends really. I've done it before. I'd be more concerned about building up to sexual intimacy; not getting any for a few months is fine so long as there's progress and mutual attraction. I've also not continued new relationships because of sexual incompatibility. If I was to be stonewalled until our wedding night, hell no that's not okay. I would honestly be okay with waiting till marriage. It means more then. It's not just a moment of pleasure then. It's a way to show passion and love that wouldn't be shown if you didn't wait. Like I said earlier if sex is just something she just doles out whenever she feels like it, then what's it really mean? I guess what I'm saying is love means a lot more to me than half an hour or an hour of pleasure. My point is that there's a minimum level of sexual intimacy for me. Don't look or look but don't touch are wholly unacceptable to me.
Traviesa Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Cuddling can be lovely even if it doesn't involve the exchange of bodily fluids (besides saliva). You just need to be a little creative. There are many things you can do besides actually screw with someone when you are not fully dressed, and there are millions of things to do that can be done with both participants fully clothed. Going to the movies, plays, concerts, playing sports, games (video games and board games), cards, cooking, hiking, conversation, bicycling, dancing, visiting the zoo/aquarium, bowling, read plays aloud together alternating lines, going to museums, going to restaurants (diners and pizza parlors as well as fancy places), etc. Come on.
Egghebrecht Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 due to being 29, being non religious and not giving a rats ass about marriage I would say that such would be a problem indeed but I doubt that I would start a relationship with someone who doesn't want to have sex before marriage for above stated reasons :( and frankly a relationship without sex is called "friendship"... I guess the problem is that some girls and even guys, make sex into a bigger deal than it really is. aye
Mr X Posted January 13, 2012 Author Posted January 13, 2012 due to being 29, being non religious and not giving a rats ass about marriage I would say that such would be a problem indeedbut I doubt that I would start a relationship with someone who doesn't want to have sex before marriage for above stated reasons :( and frankly a relationship without sex is called "friendship"... I guess the problem is that some girls and even guys, make sex into a bigger deal than it really is. aye I share the same agreement with bolded. Exactly what I told my gf. I ll look at more replies in the morning. redmonke, take it elsewhere
reepicheep Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Yes, mainly because I'm Christian, but also because since when is sex necessary when you're dating. Honestly, if that's your goal when you start dating somebody, you're doing it wrong. Take in consideration that I have not dated anybody, ever.
Tabt Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 I don't understand waiting till after marriage to have sex if you aren't religious, I can understand some girls wanting to wait a bit but... What would happen if you married someone and just discovered you weren't compatible sexually? You'd be tied together forever having crap and unfulfilling sex! For me its just part of having an intimate relationship, but then i'm 25 and not a virgin so I guess its not such a big deal to me.
20000_Posts Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 due to being 29, being non religious and not giving a rats ass about marriage I would say that such would be a problem indeedbut I doubt that I would start a relationship with someone who doesn't want to have sex before marriage for above stated reasons :( and frankly a relationship without sex is called "friendship"... I guess the problem is that some girls and even guys, make sex into a bigger deal than it really is. aye I share the same agreement with bolded. Exactly what I told my gf. I ll look at more replies in the morning. redmonke, take it elsewhere I don't roll that way.
Jethraw Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Personally, I believe sex is a healthy thing and is essential if you're going to have an intimate relationship. If you aren't willing to be naked with someone you love, you're really not open enough to be in a relationship. That being said, I do think it's healthy to wait a while, because I think if you jump in feet first, you're going the wrong way about building a relationship. I'm no guru though, so take what I say with a pinch of salt.
Sleepy Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 To answer the question in the title, and explaining it so it's not a one word post, yes. :( Also, Adam? has the right idea.
Luftey Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Yes, mainly because I'm Christian, but also because since when is sex necessary when you're dating. Honestly, if that's your goal when you start dating somebody, you're doing it wrong. Take in consideration that I have not dated anybody, ever. ^This. You don't date just for a sex buddy. If that's the case when you're 50 and ugly are you just going to divorce because she isn't cute enough to make out with? Likewise, dating is meant to find that perfect person for you. Sure, you want someone physically attractive, but, if you're looking for soley sex potential then you're doing it wrong, if that's what you want, go to Vegas and hire a hooker.
20000_Posts Posted January 13, 2012 Posted January 13, 2012 Yes, mainly because I'm Christian, but also because since when is sex necessary when you're dating. Honestly, if that's your goal when you start dating somebody, you're doing it wrong. Take in consideration that I have not dated anybody, ever. ^This. You don't date just for a sex buddy. If that's the case when you're 50 and ugly are you just going to divorce because she isn't cute enough to make out with? Likewise, dating is meant to find that perfect person for you. Sure, you want someone physically attractive, but, if you're looking for soley sex potential then you're doing it wrong, if that's what you want, go to Vegas and hire a hooker. I can confirm that there are many members on this forum that would save tons of time, money, and effort by just hiring a hooker instead of chasing after tail.
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