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Alright, this is another girlfriend help post. I have a story to tell, and then a question.

 

So it all started off when my friends and I went hiking. Friend 2 took another Friend 1's phone, and started trolling people on Facebook chat. And the first person on his chat list was "her". So what happened was he started saying some vulgar things to her, and it was pretty funny and we all had a good laugh. So then I took his phone, and I said that the person who was chatting her wasn't really Friend 1, it was Friend 2. And then she was like, "Of course! I knew it wasn't him from the beginning." So then I asked her to friend me, for no reason. And that's how we started talking.

 

We talked for a few months, and then we were both invited to this party hosted by Friend 1 because Friend 1 and "her" were family friends, and I was family friends with Friend 1 also. So we were invited to that party, but I didn't really say anything to her because I couldn't...I was with my friends the whole time. And I regret it.

 

So then we started talking again online once I got home, and eventually started video chatting. She liked me, and I liked her. And after a few months of that we've gotten really close, and I really think she's perfect for me. I don't want to let her go. So next month I'm going over to Friend 1's house, and I'm going to meet "her" there.

 

My question is: What should I do so I don't screw up? We've talked, but not in person yet. She admitted to me herself she likes me, and I don't want to do anything stupid to change that.

 

Thanks in advance. :)

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Over the last... well, year of failures and observations and all that shizzle in my life, I can tell you from personal experience not to rush into anything, especially if you've only seen her once or twice before. But be there, be good friends, build up a relationship in that sense and THEN see if it progresses. If she lives a little while away, try and make that effort to go see her - in fact, that's just what I did with a girl I like yesterday :P Which is a first for me, even if we're not going out or anything. But that's just my point - build up a good relationship, and try and meet in real life if you're able to - I believe it's lilshu who said in another topic that there's nothing at all like talking to someone in person. And he's right, it's totally different to talking to someone over facebook or even over skype or anything.

 

So yeah, TL;DR try to meet her IRL as much as you can, don't try to rush into a relationship, just be a good friend. See where it goes. You may after all find out she isn't even "your type", or visa versa - it's a lot less messy doing it that way than going into a relationship and then finding out.

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Even if I've video chatted her several times, and she's told me on video chat that I'm cute and she likes me?

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Even if I've video chatted her several times, and she's told me on video chat that I'm cute and she likes me?

 

Yes. Trust me, keep it as a friendship for a while. Just get to know her better.

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Even if I've video chatted her several times, and she's told me on video chat that I'm cute and she likes me?

 

Yes. Trust me, keep it as a friendship for a while. Just get to know her better.

 

But we've been talking for a year now, maybe more...

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Even if I've video chatted her several times, and she's told me on video chat that I'm cute and she likes me?

 

Yes. Trust me, keep it as a friendship for a while. Just get to know her better.

 

But we've been talking for a year now, maybe more...

 

You mean you've been Facebooking and Skyping.

 

Really, meeting up IRL a couple of times a month or something can't be THAT hard.

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Even if I've video chatted her several times, and she's told me on video chat that I'm cute and she likes me?

 

Yes. Trust me, keep it as a friendship for a while. Just get to know her better.

 

But we've been talking for a year now, maybe more...

If you've been video chatting her for 1 yr+ and haven't met in real life then start meeting up regularly become good friends then ask her out.

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Well I'm very glad your using the word "like" and not love. That word has become so diluted and bland and has become synonymous with "like". To love is to really will and strive for the good of the other and that's probably the best advice I can give you know. Strive for her good and will her happiness. Do it with sincerity and commitment and maybe one day you two may even end up saying the words "I love you". And not the watered down teenage fling rubbish but a true and deep devotion to one another.

 

Not everyone reaches that end stage but one must try. We are the people we care for deserve the very best. They deserve emotional fulfilment. The problem with society is we lower that standard and people end up settling for second rate. People rarely look for gentlemen and ladies anymore.

 

EDIT - Yeah, just read my post. it's sappy and mushy but I hope it helps. :)

Edited by Phoenix Rider

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I agree wit Hunter, you need to meet her IRL. Get coffee with her or something. At least meet her somewhere where it's just the two of you, and friend 1 isn't there.

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Well I'm very glad your using the word "like" and not love. That word has become so diluted and bland and has become synonymous with "like". To love is to really will and strive for the good of the other and that's probably the best advice I can give you know. Strive for her good and will her happiness. Do it with sincerity and commitment and maybe one day you two may even end up saying the words "I love you". And not the watered down teenage fling rubbish but a true and deep devotion to one another.

 

Not everyone reaches that end stage but one must try. We are the people we care for deserve the very best. They deserve emotional fulfilment. The problem with society is we lower that standard and people end up settling for second rate. People rarely look for gentlemen and ladies anymore.

 

EDIT - Yeah, just read my post. it's sappy and mushy but I hope it helps. :)

That was very long-winded, especially considering how little you said in relation to his actual problem.

 

He knows what this is; he just wants some advice on how to approach his first meeting(s) with this girl without doing anything stupid. She already admitted to you that she likes you, but you guys haven't even met in real life yet so don't ask her out obviously. Having the mutual friend with you at the first meeting is a good idea, because it could potentially be awkward if it was just the two of you talking for the first time in real life. The other friend gives you someone to play off of and makes it relaxed. If you feel like you guys were natural around each other when the other friend was there, then keep talking to her online and then ask to meet her for coffee or something, just the two of you. Then you can be flirty and whatever and go from there.

 

Don't be flirty with her when the mutual friend is there. Don't be that guy.

Edited by Adam?

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Even if I've video chatted her several times, and she's told me on video chat that I'm cute and she likes me?

 

Cute is not a good thing bro.

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Even if I've video chatted her several times, and she's told me on video chat that I'm cute and she likes me?

 

Cute is not a good thing bro.

Or simply she thinks he's cute but just doesn't want to go out with him.

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I know for a fact she wants to go out with me, and @MR FANG, I'm fifteen. I'm going to start seeing her a lot more often once school starts, because I'll be going to her house a lot and vice versa. My question is, what should I be doing to not screw anything up with her?

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I know for a fact she wants to go out with me, and @MR FANG, I'm fifteen. I'm going to start seeing her a lot more often once school starts, because I'll be going to her house a lot and vice versa. My question is, what should I be doing to not screw anything up with her?

 

Good. Wait until you're a little way into your school year, then (by little, this is up to you - I'd probably give it a few weeks).

 

Not to screw up? Like I said, don't rush. That doesn't mean be timid and awkward, it means don't rush. You don't want to freak her out.

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if you've been talking for a year+. Everything you could've said to ruin the relationship would've probably already been said by now :P

Just talk to her like you usually do for the first couple of 'dates' I reckon!11

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As the majority of replies have suggested, you should indeed spend some time in real life. There isn't much to screw up at this point; just be yourself and get to know one another face-to-face. This goes without saying, but don't do anything radical or stupid. By conversing regularly you two will establish a proper relationship, and eventually you can step things up.

 

Not to mention Salmoneus upvoted some of the posts recommending you to hang out with her, and you can't betray the wise one.

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Dude, just chill out and have a good time. If she doesn't, that's her fault.

 

Hang out with her at the friends house, if you both have a good time then give her a call a day or two afterwards and ask her to hang out or do something another time.

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Dude, just chill out and have a good time. If she doesn't, that's her fault.

 

Hang out with her at the friends house, if you both have a good time then give her a call a day or two afterwards and ask her to hang out or do something another time.

dont listen to this guy you need to have specific step by step intricate plan

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Dude, just chill out and have a good time. If she doesn't, that's her fault.

 

Hang out with her at the friends house, if you both have a good time then give her a call a day or two afterwards and ask her to hang out or do something another time.

dont listen to this guy you need to have specific step by step intricate plan

 

I know her well enough..I don't think I need a step by step plan. I guess I'll just let it unfold and see what happens.

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Just be yourself, goddammit. Girls don't like it when guys try too hard. xD

 

Also, depending on if she's the type for it, do something sweet. Like give her chocolates, or a flower, or something. Just don't overdo it.

 

All in all, just don't get too worked up about it. We can smell fear. The more confident you are in yourself, the better it will go.

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You like her. More importantly, she already likes you. The hard part is done. Personally, I would urge you to take the leap. Ask her on a date. What's to lose? Take her out for coffee or dinner or something (no movies! movies = bad dates!) or better yet, take her to dinner and then walk to a nearby coffee place, and then go for a walk in the park or something. Just make sure it's a DATE. You two, nobody else, make it clear, keep it simple. A date is not a relationship, but it's a better idea to just go straight into a date than to try to "be friends" for a bit...that's how you get friendzoned.

 

And everybody's right, be yourself. If you don't usually dress in a leather jacket and torn jeans, don't dress on the date in a leather jacket and torn jeans. If you don't usually wear shirt and tie, don't wear shirt and tie. It's just another day for you. Take it easy, and if the date goes well, ask her on another. And another. THEN ask her to go out with you on an exclusive basis (i.e. girlfriend).

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This may be premature, but just remember not to say, "I love you" too soon, because even if she feels that way too, if you lose interest down the road you've already committed yourself to a relationship it's not easy to back out of. If she doesn't feel the same way... I don't need to tell you what happens.

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