'A friend to all is a friend to none'

[Micael Fatia]

Hello there Sal's.

 

Just thought about dropping by to ask you ladies, gentlemen and Sobend a question that I've been wondering about ever since I stumbled upon this quote by the great Aristotles.

What do you think he meant when he said 'A friend to all is a friend to none'?

I guess the most basic interpretation, and the one I personally believe to be the correct one (Occam's razor), is that a person who is friends with everyone isn't capable of creating meaningful and complex relationships. If you're friends with everyone and can't pick a few people to stand out in your life, then nobody is truly special to you, and I feel that makes you lose some important parts of the experience that being a human being is.

I guess that's why we feel jealous when others get too close to our best friends/loved ones sometimes, and can't help but feel a little salty/upset. Like we fear losing our importance to the people we see being friendly with others, whom we fear may replace us in a sense.

Too much isn't healthy, as it becomes obsession, but it's a very unique and special feeling knowing we're loved and have a select few who count with us and cherish our presence in their lives a bit (or even a lot) above all rest. It can give a sense of purpose to some people.

I suppose what Aristotle meant by that, is that we create the strongest connections and friendships with a select few that we choose to cater to and treat in a special manner. Just like others sometimes do for us. And if we treat everyone the same manner in this aspect, having too many "close" friends, the way you treat your special ones stops being... special. How can your best friend see that you think of them as a best friend, if you interact the same manner with them as you interact with everyone else, share the same experiences and secrets?

 

So, in your opinion what is the meaning in that famous quote of Aristotle? Do you agree with a view similar to my own, or perhaps that he simply meant a person who acts friendly with everyone is usually a false person who merely seeks to integrate and please, not by being themselves but simply by catering to the apparent needs of all others, often entering the realm of contradictions?

Or do you believe the old philosopher merely had had too much wine and was spouting nonsense at the time, and someone decided to record it for the lols in some sort of classical times phone video equivalent?

 

Discuss! (Or, well, just say what you think the manner you want)

Edited March 4, 2017 by Micael Fatia

[Guitarguy]

I believe it means that somebody who seeks to be friends with everyone is, ipso facto, doing so only for their own pleasure, and thus cannot be a "true friend" who is willing to act altruistically for others.

 

I believe it is also worth considering that Aristotle was wrong about most definitive things and is quite possibly the worst well-known philosopher ever. -.-

Edited March 5, 2017 by Guitarguy

[Bwauder]

The way i read it is pretty much the same, you could be friendly to all in a superficial associated way, but by making no tight commitments or investing in anyones more personal situation.

 

If you become closer to one persons or a small groups "story" you increase bonds and the value of association to those involved and increase the odds of support in a risk or personal issue situation. On the other hand you also increase the odds of alienating other superficial friends,because of those in your chosen groups problems with other people &/or social circles.

 

So effectively to remain friendly with everyone ( but likely not more than a brief happy chat &/or wave when seen) you can make no tight ties to anyone, & will have no true friends or quality social life. This doesnt necessarily make them a "false person who merely seeks to integrate and please" - they could be just loners or socially awkward but making a best effort to interact with society with minimal discomfort.

 

I'm more inclined to think a false person will still seek a group for closer ties to help reiforce the ego that seeks that attention or at least gain personal value by attachment to that group. While the inflated showing off ( a la movies of massive Hollywood party blowouts or gangsters boasting loudly to restaurants) is not so much friend seeking as looking for admiration.

[Phoenix Rider]

I always interpreted it as it is impossible for individuals to be 'friends' with everyone. We all have different personalities and those personalities will eventually clash with that of others be it because of world views, preferences, lifestyle choices...etc. We all learn this from experience. There are just certain people we will never get along with. We can be civil but calling them 'friends', implying a bond of deep intimacy and trust, well that's just silly.

 

Someone going around, calling everyone 'friends' or trying to get himself into every social group is either a phony or an individual with no moral and philosophical backbone. Both types of people are 'friend to none'.

[Sajoh]

Interesting because I may suffer from this problem inadvertently? Meaningful relationships that are definitive from others at the moment, for me, exist in my own mind most of the time. The problem lies with not wishing to appear inconsistent in your treatment of people, other parts are actually reliant on less personable and more ability driven factors such as memory and good judgement.