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Lonelywolf

i get caught in cycles of nostalgia when i visit here and it makes me sad

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Posted (edited)

hello, lets remember some names that have been and gone from the forum we know and love, and if you have any positive memories you'd like to share lets do so to celebrate! maybe some people will benefit by seeing names they totally forgot about and will be filled with all sorts of chemicals

Bwauder
W1LS0N
WIZARD_KILLING
guitarguy
KEMOSABE
desireful
adam?
texas lots of posts guy
Aabid
andyana
conspicuous
im gonna mill burray ur mom
HARDRUNE
admiral
tabt
nitua
skateskull!
kyo
O HAI IM KAMIL
mikey
gonzyy
morte!
FAKE
beret
jethraw

i am trying to think of another guy thats not kemosabe but may have started with a K too and i always got them confused
EDIT: it was kesthetic


Heres some more
pureosaur
helm lardar
lord earth 13
 

Edited by Lonelywolf
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Posted (edited)

heb0 responded to a post I made on reddit a few days ago. Said he lost his password unfortunately. 

Other names off the top of my head:
Gonza Man
The Evil Bunny
Easl
redmonke
WolfieMario

 

Some more looking through old posts:

Mr E
goglmogl
Cake
Ptolemy
Da Scotsman
Tawk
Real
reap-

Edit: Looking at the leaderboard can't forget Twist of Fate, Arianna, Click This, and the OG top poster, Cxkslei.

Lots of nostalgia seeing some avatar pics. Lilshu's avatar will be forever ingrained in my mind, same with Macki. Arianna's former ava is really nostalgic. heb0 always changed his with the seasons I believe. Before he changed his stuff, redmonke's pic rings a bell. Adam? and Click This are classics. Kind of weird I still have parts of my brain dedicated to remembering these things...

 

Edited by Chaoss

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On 5/7/2021 at 1:17 PM, Lonelywolf said:

lets remember some names that have been and gone from the forum

On 5/7/2021 at 1:17 PM, Lonelywolf said:

maybe some people will benefit by seeing names they totally forgot about

On 5/7/2021 at 1:17 PM, Lonelywolf said:

guitarguy

ecd1437c983af4ba828ebc22b45af5296114aa55

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For years, I have thought about making such a list, writing a personal comment, but.. where the hell do one even begin? So many years. So many names. So many name-changes. So many memories. So many that are lost to time and the void of my goldfish-like memory.

Sal's has changed my way in so many ways, some small, some absolutely life altering. At some point in time, this place will go down, and we will all leave a part of ourselves behind when it does.

...but until then, this is home away from home before I got my own home. You? You are my extremely dysfunctional family, and I love you all for it. :ice:

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It's 2021, and we're still HERE! So many fond memories.

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On 5/12/2021 at 12:46 AM, Guitarguy said:

ecd1437c983af4ba828ebc22b45af5296114aa55

thanks for recognizing my epic troll xD my ego is fed from it

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@Fatalysm Nice of you to mention my name twice there :tongue:

I kind of feel the same way as Yuanrang, so many names to remember and I'm scared I'll leave someone out. There also many names I recognise but I also can't remember how...

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The worst part is when you remember someone by their old names, avatars, signatures, IRC monikers or RuneScape names, but you are not entirely sure who they are anymore on these forums. I can tell you their real name, where they live in the world, bits and pieces about their real life, hopes, dreams, views and experiences.. but then suddenly, I forget their username. All you have are the memories of your interactions with them, but then you just forget some really basic, yet important, things. :box:

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Posted (edited)

For myself, I've added in as many people as I can manage at the moment. The dilemma I faced is that everyone on here is pretty much deserved to be on that list.

I could have gone the safer route of not listing anyone, but I live in this fantasy world where I believe some of the people might get an email notification and see their name pop up and get some real joy reminiscing on here.

By far the worst thing for me is not getting to know everyone on a deeper level, but then again I wasn't exactly mature and I was incredibly self-involved as a teenager. As well as that, I had old accounts on here that date back to 2005. (Don't worry I got temporarily banned for that). In a way, I'm glad that most of the people from then have no idea who I am now.

I'm glad to have connected with so many people over the past 16 years, the only issue I have with it is that I can't edit out the awful behaviour of my teenage years. But hey, that's what growing is for and people on here helped me to do that, which is awesome!

I did start by writing notes about people but even that felt off. It's nice and all, to give back those shared memories but then, how is that fair to the people that are still here.

To completely go back on what I just said, I thought this might be a fun time to build some kind of connection.

@YuanrangIf you ever want to chat I'm down. Since the beginning I considered your name to be Yuan or Ewan. You always come across as super-intelligent with an almost militant strictness which is something I've always respected about you. I don't know who the titans are, I'm guessing it's something to do with the old sal's realm but since that's something I associate with you, you are now a titan. I feel like we are probably very different people but I think I probably respect you more because of that. You seem like a cool fellow, how do you do? Oh in my mind you look like Auron and that's just your permanent look. That's head canon.

If I wake up banned my experiment failed. :box:

Edited by Fatalysm

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11 hours ago, Fatalysm said:

Since the beginning I considered your name to be Yuan or Ewan.

My username is actually unrelated to my name in origin, as it is more related to my passion for history! I chose "Yuanrang" mostly because I needed an online name, and I liked the person it is inspired from. In certain cultures, it is common to take a "style name" upon entering adulthood. Well, when I hit my teens, the name I chose for my online identity were the same as the style name of said historical figure. Ironically, Yuan has a similarity to real life though, as my real name is Jan. :tongue:
 

11 hours ago, Fatalysm said:

You always come across as super-intelligent with an almost militant strictness which is something I've always respected about you.

I think most people that suffered my strictness would immediately protest about me being intelligent in any way, shape, or form. :cute:

This might surprise you, but I am actually not a very strict person, neither in my personal life, nor while teaching. I do admit that I have had a rather zealous approach to making sure the rules were followed, but that has been more of a choice, than a reflection of who I am. I have loved the community here from the first few months. Sal's has provided me with so much through-out the years, that a part of me has wanted to treasure it.

I know I have been extremely pedantic, infuriating and stern in making sure the rules are followed, but.. look at it from my perspective: A lot of people on this forum has been immature or filled with repressed emotions, making them lash out and behave in ways that either are offensive, hurtful or disruptive of others. If someone does not beat down on that kind of attitude, this place would have been far less friendly.

I think we all know there has been people here that made a sport out of either harassing people, or testing the limits at how far they could go, and then get away with. I get the urge to be rebellious and fight the system, but that never give people the right to bully others. The easiest way to prevent that here, was to just to enforce the rules. I have given out hundreds of warnings over the years that I felt was unnecessary, or even harsh, because some of our rules were far stricter than I personally like.

The fact that someone could get banned because they had too large a signature 7 times in a row is just utterly idiotic to me, but... at the same time.. if we had more lenient towards that, people could easier argue in favour of leniency towards other rules as well. The worst part about it all was having to do that to my friends. I have had to ban some really good friends on this forum, and that has just been a horrible experience, but.. at some point you get stuck in a cycle of having to believe in the system, because if not, what was all the other stuff good for?

Am I like that in real life? Well, I believe in law and order, but not as zealously as I have done here. My zeal here was more of a reflection of the responsibility and power I had here. Had I stayed a forum member through-out my time here, I probably would have been far more vocal about my personal (negative) opinion of people, than being a cold-hearted, militant, nutjob. :cute:

 

12 hours ago, Fatalysm said:

I don't know who the titans are

It is you. In fact, it is everyone that reads this thread, now or in the future. :ice:

It used to be a title we either had on the first Invisionfree forum, or had in the beginning of this IPB forum. Whenever someone we all liked went missing, and it was obvious to the community, they were given a unique usergroup with the pip being the one in my signature. The titans are no one in particular, yet all of us at the same time. They are the people we care for, we miss, and we remember dearly to this day. I guess you could say it is my way of publically flagging my nostalgia and fond memories of friends, former acquaintances and so many good times with people. :wub:

 

13 hours ago, Fatalysm said:

I feel like we are probably very different people but I think I probably respect you more because of that.

I think the fact that we are different is why I got to know, and respect you, in the first place. When some hot shot is making rounds causing discussion about their signature and GFX skills, you become noticed. I am a poor excuse of an artist, but even I could spot the excitement friends of mine had, when they talked about your work, or them requesting signatures from you. I must admit, I liked a lot of your creations too! I always wished I had the passion for art like everyone in the GFX section used to have. I admire people that strive to improve and learn, and that is how I learned your name, and how to respect the name "Fatalysm". I can certainly think of worse ways to be remembered and to gain the respect of others. :tongue:

 

13 hours ago, Fatalysm said:

You seem like a cool fellow, how do you do? Oh in my mind you look like Auron and that's just your permanent look.

Thanks for asking, and thanks for the compliment, even if I am a pretty boring person ever since I got old. :aware:

These days, I am doing fairly well. I have reached the part in my life where I have mostly obtained the big "life goals" I set in my youth, so now I am just in that process of trying to figure out what to fill the rest of my life with. I really am not sure what to fill life with now that I have little to work towards. For now, it seems to be writing the next D&D session instead of grading English mock exams, but.. I cannot be all old and irresponsible, can I? :aware: 

---------------------

That is more than enough about me though. How about you, Fatalysm? How are you these days? I always saw you as this young and upcoming person who had this extreme creativity and drive to improve, but you would often get bored of your own creations, so you would be stuck in this pattern of improvement and reinventing yourself. I imagine you to be that creative person that, once you feel you mastered something, start learning something brand new. Did you make a career in graphical design? Did you, at some point, want to? Why/why not? 

Also, if I can go back to your post.. You say you regret not getting to know everyone here on a deeper level, yet it is obvious that there are strong ties here that keep you coming back. Do you feel you missed out in the beginning, and if so, what would you have changed the most? :ohmy:

I see you feel that the people here helped you grow, so I guess another good question to you would be... what are the best things you learned from your time here, and the people you met? 

...and if my questions are too personal, or hard to answer, I will ask you a simple question:

Are you happy, or do you need someone to just vent to/talk to/listen to you? If so, poke me. :ice:

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Yuanrang said:

The worst part about it all was having to do that to my friends. I have had to ban some really good friends on this forum, and that has just been a horrible experience, but.. at some point you get stuck in a cycle of having to believe in the system, because if not, what was all the other stuff good for?

Would it not have been possible to defer that decision to other moderators to avoid those issues?

17 hours ago, Fatalysm said:

By far the worst thing for me is not getting to know everyone on a deeper level, but then again I wasn't exactly mature and I was incredibly self-involved as a teenager.

I suppose it isn't too late to change that, there are still a few of us hanging around :tongue:

Edited by Ambo100

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Yuanrang said:

My username is actually unrelated to my name in origin, as it is more related to my passion for history! I chose "Yuanrang" mostly because I needed an online name, and I liked the person it is inspired from. In certain cultures, it is common to take a "style name" upon entering adulthood. Well, when I hit my teens, the name I chose for my online identity were the same as the style name of said historical figure. Ironically, Yuan has a similarity to real life though, as my real name is Jan. :tongue:

Interesting that it's pretty close! I like that origin for your name. I wish I'd done the same for myself, but hindsight is a fickle thing. Much less attractive, but I think I just used to go with what I thought was "cool". I don't think I'll ever be able to remember all the names I had, but here are the ones I remember, tribal dragon boy, lord Pixma, Osiris, Unknown and finally Fatalysm. I thought Fatalysm was interesting at the time, and I described it in my mind as the act of being fatal. Almost like it was a religion or something. I quickly found out that people just shortened it to Fat which is both hysterical and reasonably accurate.

4 hours ago, Yuanrang said:

I think most people that suffered my strictness would immediately protest about me being intelligent in any way, shape, or form. :cute:

I can't remember if I've ever been in trouble with you. I've been in situations a lot on here which you'll almost certainly know about, but hey, that maintains that intelligent persona I've built around you. :wizard:

4 hours ago, Yuanrang said:

I know I have been extremely pedantic, infuriating and stern in making sure the rules are followed, but.. look at it from my perspective: A lot of people on this forum has been immature or filled with repressed emotions, making them lash out and behave in ways that either are offensive, hurtful or disruptive of others. If someone does not beat down on that kind of attitude, this place would have been far less friendly.

 I think we all know there has been people here that made a sport out of either harassing people, or testing the limits at how far they could go, and then get away with. I get the urge to be rebellious and fight the system, but that never give people the right to bully others. The easiest way to prevent that here, was to just to enforce the rules. I have given out hundreds of warnings over the years that I felt was unnecessary, or even harsh, because some of our rules were far stricter than I personally like.

 The fact that someone could get banned because they had too large a signature 7 times in a row is just utterly idiotic to me, but... at the same time.. if we had more lenient towards that, people could easier argue in favour of leniency towards other rules as well. The worst part about it all was having to do that to my friends. I have had to ban some really good friends on this forum, and that has just been a horrible experience, but.. at some point you get stuck in a cycle of having to believe in the system, because if not, what was all the other stuff good for?

I believe that's just it though, my opinion of you is more informed from the role you played as a moderator. There are countless examples I could give of topics and posts you've made, which also make a point of your intelligence, but I would hazard a guess that most of the formed opinions I have regarding your militant style do come from your role here.

You were dealing with thousands of children at varying stages in their life. Yes, you may have had to be stern and pedantic but what matters and what I've always seen is that what you're doing and have done is to make this place better for everyone. It's challenging to know the gap. On one side, as you mentioned, does someone who oversized a signature deserve a ban? Perhaps not, but the leniency makes the rules irrelevant. In my opinion, you were right to stick by what was said and done, and it did make for a more enjoyable community.

People making a sport of harassing people and testing how far they will go? Well, yes, unfortunately, I know first-hand on here how that feels. I feel like I probably unfairly did this to others as well. Certain people loved bullying me over my online persona. I took it personally—some of that hurt. But then I used to bug the heck out of forum admin/moderators and distinguished members back in the day because I felt like I deserved recognition and power. So I'm not entirely innocent.

It ties into what you were saying about immaturity and repressed emotions. I always wanted to be the big hotshot. As a young teenager, I never wanted to feel inferior, and Sal's Realm was where I felt valued where I didn't get that so much at home. Once I started to feel like I was 'somebody' on here, that twisted into wanting to go even further.

Do you think your friendships suffered? Would you ever reach out to any of them now, or have you done?

4 hours ago, Yuanrang said:

 Am I like that in real life? Well, I believe in law and order, but not as zealously as I have done here. My zeal here was more of a reflection of the responsibility and power I had here. Had I stayed a forum member throughout my time here, I probably would have been far more vocal about my personal (negative) opinion of people, than being a cold-hearted, militant, nutjob. :cute:

Is that something you regret? I don't mean moderating as a whole, but not fully expressing yourself with that nagging thought in your mind that you might have to present yourself differently because of a role?

4 hours ago, Yuanrang said:

It is you. In fact, it is everyone that reads this thread, now or in the future. :ice:

It used to be a title we either had on the first Invisionfree forum, or had in the beginning of this IPB forum. Whenever someone we all liked went missing, and it was obvious to the community, they were given a unique usergroup with the pip being the one in my signature. The titans are no one in particular, yet all of us at the same time. They are the people we care for, we miss, and we remember dearly to this day. I guess you could say it is my way of publically flagging my nostalgia and fond memories of friends, former acquaintances and so many good times with people. :wub:

Heck yeah, I'm a titan. :wub:

I may have visited the old invisionfree forum once or twice, but this is going back past 2005 and my memory of being 12 years old online is rather vague, to put it politely. That's such a sweet way to put it, all these people we miss, care for and remember dearly. I think I've found a softer side to you already. :pirate2:

4 hours ago, Yuanrang said:

I think the fact that we are different is why I got to know, and respect you, in the first place. When some hot shot is making rounds causing discussion about their signature and GFX skills, you become noticed. I am a poor excuse of an artist, but even I could spot the excitement friends of mine had, when they talked about your work, or them requesting signatures from you. I must admit, I liked a lot of your creations too! I always wished I had the passion for art like everyone in the GFX section used to have. I admire people that strive to improve and learn, and that is how I learned your name, and how to respect the name "Fatalysm". I can certainly think of worse ways to be remembered and to gain the respect of others. :tongue:

Wow! That's not something I knew! Probably just as well I'm finding out about it now, and not ten years ago, my ego would have been even further out of control! I'm honoured and astonished that you have respect for me. I feel that I did try to improve and learn, and that's something that's stuck with me and is probably more relevant now than it was back then, but It's all about the journey of how you get somewhere.

For me, art was the only thing I ever felt good at as a child. When I started getting into GFX and photoshop, I was 11 years old and taught myself everything. I had a steep learning curve. Some of the people here are, even to this day, miles beyond what I can do creatively. It's them that spurred me on to be better, in a sense. Also, I seemed to have this awful trait of wanting to be the best and most recognised no matter what the cost.

4 hours ago, Yuanrang said:

Thanks for asking, and thanks for the compliment, even if I am a pretty boring person ever since I got old. :aware:

These days, I am doing fairly well. I have reached the part in my life where I have mostly obtained the big "life goals" I set in my youth, so now I am just in that process of trying to figure out what to fill the rest of my life with. I really am not sure what to fill life with now that I have little to work towards. For now, it seems to be writing the next D&D session instead of grading English mock exams, but.. I cannot be all old and irresponsible, can I? :aware: 

Hey, I'm about seven months away from hitting 30, and it's like the worlds come crashing down. You aren't boring; you've changed my dull afternoon into a fantastic read. I got a notification through and smiled!

I get you. Once those big goals from your youth get done, you realise that actually life continues. Not that you need my advice, but something I thought about recently is that yeah, sure, we're all getting older and settling down, but that doesn't mean we're incapable. Sometimes you've got to take that leap you would have done as a youngster, other times not so much, weak hips and that. :aware:

Have you had a rough time with exams and everything considering what's been happening in the world?

Wow! dungeons and dragons! I love online events people are doing and certain shows on twitch and youtube. So interesting watching people create these characters and get creative within a ruleset to have a dungeon master layout a story.

4 hours ago, Yuanrang said:

That is more than enough about me though. How about you, Fatalysm? How are you these days? I always saw you as this young and upcoming person who had this extreme creativity and drive to improve, but you would often get bored of your own creations, so you would be stuck in this pattern of improvement and reinventing yourself. I imagine you to be that creative person that, once you feel you mastered something, start learning something brand new. Did you make a career in graphical design? Did you, at some point, want to? Why/why not? 

I'm in a pretty good place now. I won't bore you too much, but basically, I had a child with my now ex. She up and left after birth and took my boy. I was self-employed, running a pet shop for a while, and doing good, but eventually, the rent and rates just got too much for this small town. I had to deal with having no credit and being almost homeless.

Anyway, now that's out of the way, I can honestly say that I'm doing great; I'm in a full-time job, looking at going back to self-employment, I've been off anti-depressants and just dosed with vitamin b12, and that's made my life so much easier. I got my motorbike license, and I'm now driving around in my dream car (Subaru Wrx Sti). I'm also looking to upsize and relocate, so that's something too! Honestly, it couldn't be going better.

You hit the nail on the head. Always striving to be better and creative but getting bored and then trying to reinvent me. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since I can remember. I used hobbies to fill my mind with anything but what was going on, which still happens to me, although less frequently. I would dive into projects headfirst and, hopefully, see them through. I just wanted to do something. When people started liking what I was doing, it started well, but it quickly changed into this desperate search for validation. That's why I would constantly reinvent myself and probably why I mentioned wishing I could delete old topics and posts. I consider myself to have evolved from what I was. I need to appreciate the journey more.

I always felt like I wasn't the same person and had something new to achieve—for example, tribal dragon boy, my oldest name. I didn't know what forums were. I typed the way that I talked and asked the most basic questions. Reinvention happened, lord Pixma. I discovered pixel art and gfx on here, and I wanted to get involved and make my mark, but I felt like people didn't like everything I posted. So there was a reinvention, Osiris. He learned from all the previous two's mistakes and started to get involved with gfx, but I'm pretty sure I ended up developing a warn log for some trivial stuff, and I felt like people didn't like me. So I come back as Unknown, another reinvention.

I'm staying away from GFX a little bit this time, but I'm still getting older, learning and growing. By this point, I feel okay, but I want everyone to know who I am. So I have to let go of this identity crisis. Eventually, I own up to my old accounts. At that time, I've reinvented myself as Fatalysm. I was still immature, still power-hungry, and it all came from this idea that I just wanted to be liked. Perhaps if I'd spent less time wanting to be liked and trying to fight my way to the top, I could have just made more friends.

Anyway, I do like to master things and move on. Or at least master them to a point. I've always been the same. When I sold carpet, I made sure I knew everything there was to know about carpet. Right now, it's the same with power tools. I learned those back to front with photoshop and illustrator, and adobe suite, even though I don't use most of them. I taught myself how to create websites and use HTML/CSS and some PHP. I don't know why I do it; perhaps it is to fill the void. I was never content to leave anything, though. It's like the website design for this place. I've done like 4/5 different designs since that one because I always feel like I can do more.

I never did make a career in graphic design. After three years of college, I told myself that I liked creating things for fun. I didn't want to be pinned by the will of a customer. It just took all of the fun out of it. In a way, I stand by it. If you don't enjoy something, why are you doing it? I never wanted the graphic design to annoy me because it was always there to fill the void and stop me from getting down. Having said all of that, I've used my skills throughout my adult life. When I went self-employed, I built my e-commerce website, and when it came to running the shop, I did everything from the design and layout of the shop, the colours to the pos, logo, posters, shelf-edge labelling. So It's served me well.

4 hours ago, Yuanrang said:

 Also, if I can go back to your post.. You say you regret not getting to know everyone here on a deeper level, yet it is obvious that there are strong ties here that keep you coming back. Do you feel you missed out in the beginning, and if so, what would you have changed the most? :ohmy:

 I see you feel that the people here helped you grow, so I guess another good question to you would be... what are the best things you learned from your time here, and the people you met? 

 ...and if my questions are too personal, or hard to answer, I will ask you a simple question:

 Are you happy, or do you need someone to just vent to/talk to/listen to you? If so, poke me. :ice:

There are strong ties, and there are some reasonably deep connections, but I feel that because I was so young/immature/self-involved, I didn't take the time to get to know everyone as much as I should have. I feel that I missed out on an opportunity to have a better social experience. That said, I wouldn't change growing up online on here for the world. Even the people that may not have treated me exceptionally well still helped me become a better person today. If I could change anything, it wouldn't be the forum so much as it would be myself. If I had been content in posting and being happy, this place would have been much better off. You got stuck with me!

Sal's Realm taught me about community. It taught me about knowing more about the world and being able to connect with people genuinely. This place changed me. When I started here, I was 11/12 years old, and I played Runescape with my brothers, but I didn't have any friends, and I wasn't delighted in life. The people I met in real life didn't always vibe with me, and I spent a long time getting bullied. On the other side of it, on here, for the most part, everyone was charming, and this is what I would describe as my family away from my family. I could get lost in the forums and talk to like-minded people.

This place kept me in check as well. When I got too big for my boots, people quickly brought me back down to earth.

Sal's is where I'm at my happiest, where I share the best memories and where I learned who I would become!

I feel like I've been writing for 3 hours, so I'm just going to stop.

It's cool getting to know more about you, though! Do you still play video games when you can find the time?

Edited by Fatalysm

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Posted (edited)

Wow, I randomly decided to check the forums, only to see I got mentioned in a roundup thread. Cheers, guys. I miss this place one hell of a lot, I really should stop by more, it's only a browser click away. I was locked out of the forums cause I lost a google authenticator for about 2 years, but when Lilshu came back to RS for Archaeology I spammed him until he got it removed.
I'm sure a lot of you guys feel the same way, but I really did grow up here. I was younger than pretty much everyone when I stopped lurking in early 2013, and so I got to have some real role models in you guys as I finished my teenage years, and somehow managed to become somewhat of a pillar of the ingame community (skill competition banners, clan avatar, my giant max party and subsequent Vorago mass in 2015). So many memories of the better days, man. Nowadays all I have time for is work and some afk RS3 when I get home and eat dinner, really. But if anybody wants to chat life hit me here or ingame! 

Edited by Army of One
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On 6/6/2021 at 9:13 PM, Ambo100 said:

Would it not have been possible to defer that decision to other moderators to avoid those issues?

I think the answer there is both "Yes" and "No". In the time where we had an active Staff, it would have been quite possible to let other people do it. In fact, for a long time, I used to be retired around 2008 to 2011, simply because I was more addicted to World of Warcraft, and I forgot about all things RuneScape for most of it. Before that period, the forum was extremely active, and we had a large Staff, so it was easy to just let other people do it. When I came back, RuneScape was in rapid decline and had been for some time, so there were less active members, and far less active Staff. The result was that, for the past 10 years or so, it has only been a very small amount of Staff members "running" the show. Most of the past decade or so has really been 1-3 people doing all the moderating and upkeep. Realistically, at those points, there very well could be no one else to defer to, even when the forum had "moderate" activity on a regular basis. :ohmy: 

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

I thought Fatalysm was interesting at the time, and I described it in my mind as the act of being fatal. Almost like it was a religion or something. I quickly found out that people just shortened it to Fat which is both hysterical and reasonably accurate.

See, this is where I end up getting surprised. I was so sure your name was a play on "fatalism", and I internally thought you saw yourself as a doomed figure, resigned to suffer the inevitable. :blink:

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

and what I've always seen is that what you're doing and have done is to make this place better for everyone. It's challenging to know the gap.

It is important to point out that you would probably feel differently, if you had been at the other side of the rules. I know a lot of people felt like I was ruining Sal's for them, but that is simply because they had grown to have a different view of what Sal's was, or what it should be. I can easily say that I did not always know the gap, and sometimes I regretted the ruling, or whether leniency should have been shown, but other times I felt that some people got off easy. In either case, having the reputation as a crazy fascist tend to be more practical, than it is detrimental. People tend to be more on their toes that way. :cute:

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

People making a sport of harassing people and testing how far they will go? Well, yes, unfortunately, I know first-hand on here how that feels. I feel like I probably unfairly did this to others as well. Certain people loved bullying me over my online persona. I took it personally—some of that hurt. But then I used to bug the heck out of forum admin/moderators and distinguished members back in the day because I felt like I deserved recognition and power. So I'm not entirely innocent.

I am sorry to hear you got to experience how awful that feels, and I think when I speak for any member of the Staff that has been around, that this is what we wanted to prevent. It is, of course, inevitable with the anonymity of being online, but I did wish people had been kinder to each other. The thing is, as you point out, we are all culprits and hardly innocent, in one way or another.

I can think of at least two people I wish I had been nicer to, simply because I do not think they deserved my ire. One was just way too young for the forum (and to realise why they were being a bit "too much"), and one.. well.. I suspect might have had a genuine reason to be that way as they could not help themselves. I am sure there are way more people than just those two, but.. those are the two that pop up in my mind when I think about it, so.. :box:

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

It ties into what you were saying about immaturity and repressed emotions. I always wanted to be the big hotshot. As a young teenager, I never wanted to feel inferior, and Sal's Realm was where I felt valued where I didn't get that so much at home. Once I started to feel like I was 'somebody' on here, that twisted into wanting to go even further.

Kids, teenagers and young adults often want recognition and to bond with others, because that is such a human thing to desire. Nothing feels better than being looked up to, or having a great friend, and I would imagine nothing stings more than the absence of both. The thing you probably do not realise is that in terms of popularity, being a Distinguished Member is as high as most people would go. Being a Distinguished Member required you to be respected and looked up to, and be a good role model. Being a Moderator required you to put in the effort to actually "work", while needing the patience to deal with the criticism and bureaucracy. 

But... on the other hand, you did get rewarded in the sense that you got to actively work on improving the community, and it really did feel like you were the last line of defense against the scammers, the flamers and the people hell-bent on soothing their painful lives, by ruining those of others. In that sense, it was also quite rewarding. :ice:

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

Do you think your friendships suffered? Would you ever reach out to any of them now, or have you done?

In general, I am horrid at starting conversations. I have always felt awkward about it, so I have not really started conversations with people. It is not because I do not like them anymore, or because I do not care, but I just do not want to be annoying or a bother. Take someone like Dani. Now, I love Dani to death, but it has been ages since this forum has seen the furry behind of @Arianna. The thing is, if he showed up tomorrow and decided to chat, I could go right back to where we were 10 years ago, and I would not have a problem. I make friends for life, both online and offline. I do realise we have both moved on, and thus I am fine with that. Besides, a couple of good friends like Eggh is still around regularily, and other people drop by now and then, so I am always happy to hear from them.

For the friendships that suffered because of moderating... well, nothing really changed for me when the friendships suffered. To explain, I will use a particular example: I had a really good friend , one of my best Sal's friends, get angry at me for supporting his demotion due to his actions. He saw it as a betrayal of years of close friendship, of good times, and of respect. He felt hurt, betrayed, and was upset.

For me.. it was never about the person, but the actions that lead to the demotion having to happen. I have had friends bombard this forum with pornography and other content, simply to get themselves banned because they wanted to "get away" from their online addictions. I have seen people so unable to put away their hatred for certain people that were baiting them, that they drove themselves to be warned, suspended and banned. Of course relationships and friendships suffer, but.. I think most Staff has gone through these things. It is the sad reality of having to mete out the punishments, and enforce the rules. :slanty:

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

Is that something you regret? I don't mean moderating as a whole, but not fully expressing yourself with that nagging thought in your mind that you might have to present yourself differently because of a role?

Well, for one, I would not have had to type all prim and proper! This is not how I normally write English, as anyone from the IRC days would attest to. :tongue: 

In general though, I would say no. I used to write thorough replies and involve myself long before I became a moderator. A few friends usually made fun of my walls of text, so there is that. :cute: 

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

For me, art was the only thing I ever felt good at as a child. When I started getting into GFX and photoshop, I was 11 years old and taught myself everything. I had a steep learning curve. Some of the people here are, even to this day, miles beyond what I can do creatively. It's them that spurred me on to be better, in a sense. Also, I seemed to have this awful trait of wanting to be the best and most recognised no matter what the cost.

I think every artist here would claim that everyone else around them is more creative than themselves. At least, that seems to be what everyone used to say. I think the drive to improve is both an artist's blessing and a curse. It helps them improve, but it also forces them to compare themselves with others, and they will tear themselves down by doing that. I think learning how to be grateful with what one has, and improve upon that, is far more constructive than lamenting the lack of skill and creativity. I do admit, this view of mine might be why I am not very artistical in the first place though, so excuse my nonsense.. :aware: 

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

Not that you need my advice, but something I thought about recently is that yeah, sure, we're all getting older and settling down, but that doesn't mean we're incapable. Sometimes you've got to take that leap you would have done as a youngster, other times not so much, weak hips and that. :aware:

Hah, I used to think this way, until my back started hurting because of poor lifting techniques and a lifetime of thinking that way. Sometimes, it is best to just accept the fact before your spine gets so crooked by an accident, your height suddenly go down 7cm as a result. Ah, the stupidity of being in your 20ies and thinking you are indestructible.. :laugh:

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

Have you had a rough time with exams and everything considering what's been happening in the world?

All exams in Norway has, for the most part, been cancelled, so that has not been an issue. All the overtime, stress, complications and such were far worse. Teaching from the confines of your own home through streaming services was certainly a new experience, but a fairly valuable one. It just took a lot of time and energy to get things right though. I consider myself lucky that we have been fairly sheltered by the pandemic, so I feel more sorry for the ones that has been smack in the middle of a disaster.

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

Wow! dungeons and dragons! I love online events people are doing and certain shows on twitch and youtube. So interesting watching people create these characters and get creative within a ruleset to have a dungeon master layout a story.

I prefer to run the games, so I tend to write the story for people, and my groups live and breathe to do something completely unexpected that generates a lot of laughs and frantic improvisation on my part. It is very enjoyable though, and it is a way of storytelling that I personally love. It is also quite social and entertaining, if you find the right group of people to play with. :biggrin:

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

I never did make a career in graphic design. After three years of college, I told myself that I liked creating things for fun. I didn't want to be pinned by the will of a customer. It just took all of the fun out of it. In a way, I stand by it. If you don't enjoy something, why are you doing it?

It is cheap of me to take your entire life story, and focus only on this quote, so I will say that I found your life to have been interesting in the sense that it does seem like you have had your successes and failiures, and you seem to have come out better for it in the end. For that, I want to say "Bravo!", and commend you for that. I hope whatever comes next turns out to give you both satisfaction in life, and that times are happy for you.  :ice: 

Now for the quote though.. I think you are absolutely correct in your choice, because.. I did the exact same thing! I started studying my passions because I wanted to learn more, but I never considered it to be something I would work with for the rest of my life. Hell, turning my hobbies into a full-time study almost made me lose my joy and passion for History and English. I was fortunate to have a friend suggest to me that I ought "to become a teacher or something". The result was that I applied for a teaching study with a rather limited amount of spots in a bout of desperation. My studies were coming to an end, and I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was fortunate to be granted a spot, I tried it out and it turns out I loved teaching. It is the best way I can practice my hobby, without killing the joy in the process.

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

Sal's is where I'm at my happiest, where I share the best memories and where I learned who I would become!

That is awesome to hear. I feel the same way. It is that home away from home, and it represent a good period of my life, and it has brought me more treasured moments and gifts than I could ever state. I think the Community did a lot of good for people like yourself, giving you a sense of what it is like to be around people, learning to interact, socialise and how a society works. It has the anonymity required to allow you to be yourself, but memorable enough to allow you to build an identity.

I remember moving out when going to University, going from a small rural community to "the big city". I felt all alone, and I knew no one. I was living in a flat with strangers, and there were so much noise everywhere, it threw me off. It was a strange, scary, and quite anxiety inducing experience to go through. I did, however, have Sal's, and I also had IRC to spend my afternoons and evenings, just chatting to people. The Community literally became home to me, as I felt far more at home while talking to people or posting here, than I did in the flat I lived in. It helped me hang in there and stay sane, certainly. For that, I will always love Sal's, and it is probably one of the core reasons why I got to where I am today. :wub: 

 

On 6/6/2021 at 9:40 PM, Fatalysm said:

It's cool getting to know more about you, though! Do you still play video games when you can find the time?

I certainly do try to get in as much time for video games as possible, but not as much as I would like, I am afraid. A lot of the games I play are ones I can do while multi-tasking. :tongue: 

 

10 hours ago, Army of One said:

So many memories of the better days, man.

Ah, but you have yet to experience the best days ahead of you! It is nice to hear that you grew as a person from this place though. I think treasuring the good memories is something you will do for as long as you live, simply because it became such a core experience in the development of yourself as a person. One of us... one of us... one of us... :aware: 

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I love to visit this forum every few months and reminisce on all the lost memories and wonderful times we all had here. Love to you all :heart:

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