November- As Time Goes By

Welcome to the Santafish Monthly! In this special edition celebrating the eight year birthday of the "new" forums we discuss skill competitions, the Salmoneus cult of conviction, a rejection therapy, and what Sal's Realm means to all of us.

Sals Wars: A New DM

Everybody please welcome Sobend as the newest DM in the ranks! It is with little sadness that I, reepicheep, will have to give up my duties as newest DM. We'd talk about said duties but they're probably illegal. When asked by one of the Sal's newsletter reporters what skills he could bring to the table, he was left speechless. Still, we're sure he can be helpful somewhere. Probably.

October Skill Competitions

In the past month Sal's Realm has held five skill competitions. The first competition was Dungeoneering, with Gocart coming out on top with 6,147,128 experience. The next skill competition was Slayer, with Micael Fatia winning with 689,381 experience. The result of this competition is slightly suspicious because Fatia held the competition. He is currently being investigated by the FBI, CIA, and MI5 for rigging a Runescape skill competition. Following that, a Thieving competition was held with Kaysie taking gold with 1,370,745 experience. The fourth competition held was Divination, with Sal's Realm's first 99 Divination member Army of One stealing the win with 617,766 experience. The fifth skill competition, Runecrafting, was won by Kaysie with a whopping 2,200,229 experience. Coincidentally, the unknown to mankind Martian nation Zulupu also landed their first ever Earth rover "Spiritual Opportunity" to confirm their existence of life on Earth. The rover crashed in Kaysie's apartment late Friday, and despite a horrible stench and incoherent shouts of "WHERE THE @#%@ IS THAT YELLOW WIZARD!!!" no evidence of life was found in the rover's forty hour battery life. The mission has been considered a failure by top Martian scientists and any future plans of "extramarital affairs" have been scratched.

If you are interested in participating in a Sal's Realm skill competition check out the Runescape events section!

100 Days, 100 Rejections

Despite all of the dangers in our world, one of the things that young people fear the most is rejection. Whether it be asking a girl out or something as simple as sitting down in the high school cafeteria, the fear of rejection has impacted the lives of many. One forum user, Fabis, has decided to end his fear of rejection forever. His plan is to everyday for the next 100 days get rejected by doing something that will surely get him rejected. This will hopefully give him enough exposure to his fear and finally rid him of it. To something as simple as asking people for their political affiliations at a bar to asking a random person if they could be best friends for the rest of their lives, Fabis has found some interesting and creative ways to get rejected. Fabis writes about his rejection experience daily on his blog, so if you ever want to keep up with Fabis' progress just check it out!

A Gnostic Christian Message

It is widely known that the highly erotic religion many of you call Christianity has caused a lack of wisdom and an increase of gaseous colons throughout the western world.

We all seek a personal god - but when futile plebeians go to a muslim giraffe the weak call Jesus, society falls from its height and tumbles into an inevitable destruction of snakes, bloody rivers, and urethral amphisbaenas.

The indulgences of the world have been found everywhere except the cajun rice and bean dishes where Pope Francis sits and hopes for constipation relief.

Therefore I urge the masses to see the bright light and think to drop our inadequate inherited colons and have the prophesied election so that we as a group or tribe can at least give secular laxatives a decent challenge before we get melded into nothingness and possibly ethereal irregularity.


Where was the October Newsletter?

Some of you may have been asking yourselves where the October edition was. We don't want to just make up some imaginary story about why there wasn't one, but we have decided to give you guys full disclosure. Here at the Santafish Monthly, we like to do things old school, so we write everything by hand and then send it by mail to others to let it get spell-checked and approved and such. However, this is nothing more than a front for a large illicit dog food operation started by Sal. The paper on which we write these newsletters is made of compressed dog food. That might sound silly, but it works well. That is, until sniffer dogs discovered it, and promptly ate it. Not only did we lose a large amount of revenue, we also lost the newsletter.

Long story short, the dog ate it.

What Sals means to you

November 3rd is the birthday of the current Sal's Forums. In celebration of this, we asked forum members to submit entries on what the forums mean to them. Here are some of the answers we got.

Army of One

A place to play RuneScape with others, without being judged for playing RuneScape.


This site has meant a lot to me in many ways but I guess friendship is most important, I mean with joining this site, I pretty much made the friends that helped shaped who I am today almost, and these are just strangers I've met over a Runescape forum lol. Honestly I still look up to those people today, complete strangers I've never seen nor known their real name, who slowly grew to be the only close friends I had back then, and I guess that was critical to my life in which it helped in keeping me happy. Honestly without these forums, I'd probably be a shell of my former self, so I owe it all thanks to you guys, every single one of you. Even if you guys don't know me, just know that you made a kid's life worth living.


7 years ago, a 9 year old me came across this forum after using it's site for it's quest guides. As the self-proclaimed 'baby' of the forums, Sals has definitely shaped my character. The puzzle hunts; April fools; the scape lounge drama, it made my face beam. I certainly won't miss or forget anything that has happened. Although a lot of the prominent figures have left, outgrown or have lost their interest, we still have a community going on. The fact we're almost as old as the modern internet, being older than Facebook, speaks volumes. The experience that I had on Sals is very unique, being a very tight knit community going strong for nearly a decade. I have certainty matured over the time that I've spent with this community. Although there were some rotten apples, they were very entertaining and kept this forum going. I had times of self-reflection, including a 1 month suspension, and countless warnings. They were all for the right reasons and I am thankful you moderators chose to do so. We as a community defy what people think negatively of people online. Even though most of us have quit Runescape, we still stay on the forums because of everything else that Sals Realm has to offer. Thanks for everything. Everyone.


Quite simply, its the reason I still play after getting cleaned out a few days ago. Love you guys

O hai im KAMIL

To put simply; Sal's is my home away from home. I've been playing Runescape for 7+ years now, and a member of Sal's equally as long. I joined when I was 11/12 (fudge the rules) and since then have grown substantially, and I can gladly say that this forum (and its members) have had a profound effect on me and my life. The whole journey has been a wonderful experience; I've met so many great people, had so many great experiences and overall just an enjoyable and enlightening time. I've learnt a lot over my stay ( thanks Lilshu :< ) and have no plans on leaving anytime soon (suckers), and will continue contributing to this site that has provided so much for me and many others.


Many forum members tell me that Sals has made them the person they are today. While this is probably partly true personally, what means the most to me is that Sals is my last connection to childhood. My life has changed dramatically since I joined. I have grown up, moved, and I don't really keep in touch with any of my friends from that time period. The only constant in all of those tumultuous years was that I was a member of Sal's Realm. And while I enjoy my life today, I still miss the old hobbies I had, the old friends I had, and most importantly the old dreams I had. In short, Sals lets the older Sobend still cling on to the boy Sobend just a little bit longer. Thanks everybody.


You know it's weird. I used to be the :"clanner" back in the old old days like 2005-2008. After I got out of clanning I quit for a while came back and became a merchant got filthy rich etc etc. After I got hacked it was like my world just collapsed around me. As strange as it sounds I came back was searching for a new community I could join and become active on and well I don't know. It's weird, I had been a member of Sals for quite the time but the administrators couldn't find my old account for whatever reason so they told me to keep the recovery account I had made to try to recover the old one. I stayed on the forums cause I just wanted to chat originally. Over time, I started to play RS with you guys again and one thing turned into another. I still am not active active but I am active on weekends for certain reasons ;) This has actually helped my total level a lot and I do thank you all. When I quit I was like 2200 ish total level. Now I am 2415 :).I feel very proud of this.

tl;dr thanks sals


It's the only place totally removed from all other aspects of my life and has managed to have been, for the most part, consistently entertaining. Grew up alongside a bunch of people, with our only connection being this forum. Kind of sad that the ubiquity of Facebook and Twitter have effectively killed new forum development. I'm glad I got to experience something like Sal's.


Sal's has been a huge part of my life over the last 11 years, but I'd have to say that the last nine years have been especially important to me. I have met so many people and made so many friends, shared ideas and learned so much, and although some of those people have left Sals through the years, they have helped shape who I am now. This community has helped me get through many of the dark times in my life, and I feel that if it weren't for the people who make up this community, I would not be here today. I am sincerely grateful for being a part of such a wonderful, strong, and loyal community.


Writers: Reepicheep, Sobend, Adam?
Write-ups: Salmoneus, Adam?, Kaysie, Sobend, O hai im KAMIL, Army of One, Chronophase, Jacky, Nitua
Other: Micael Fatia, Eggehebrecht, Lilshu

Want to join in on the insanity? Join the forums today!

Like us? Share us!

Published on: November 03, 2013 07:28 PM UTC by Sobend
Updated on: June 19, 2014 03:48 PM UTC by Sobend