A Clockwork Syringe

By: O hai im KAMIL
Special Thanks to: Shooter585, Sobend

Official Briefing

Quest Release Date: 28 March 2011

Everyone loves getting mail, right? So, when a huge and mysterious package arrives for you at your house, you wouldn't think it to be the beginning of another madcap pirate adventure. Yet it is, and this one involves barrelchests, vengeful seagulls and more concussions than all previous pirate quests combined.

Essential Info

Start Point

Open the package found inside your Player Owned House.


  • Skills: None.
  • Quests: None.
  • Items: 1x Armour, 1x Ectophial, 1x Food, 1x Weapon


  • Difficulty: Master
  • Length: Long

Quest Walkthrough


Postie Pete

To start this quest, head on over to your Player owned house portal. Click on it and Postie Pete will appear, claiming to have left a note at your house. Click on the portal again and choose the 'A Clockwork Syringe' option. Read the note and you can start the quest.


The note will say that a parcel containing a 'totally inconspicuous crate' containing nothing dangers has been delivered to your house. Seems legit. Click on the portal and choose the 'A Clockwork Syringe' option again and you will be greeted with a warning, saying that the following scenes may be distressing. Unfortunately, Jagex ran out of kitten cut scenes. Enter your house and you will find a large crate by the portal.

A big box

Make sure you have a weapon, armour, and some food as you will be fighting. Investigate the create and a level 84 Barrelchest Mk II will explode out of the box, knocking you back.

Barrelchest MKII

Although the fight is easy, there are certain parts where it it is very hard to hit him so it may take a while. He has no weakness so use your preferred combat style. Attempt to safespot him using the portal and other parts of the house as shown in the picture but be wary as he will destroy parts of your house.

Estate Agent

After you have killed him, you will see the Barrelchest stuffed inside a barrel (more like Barrelhead) next to an Estate Agent. Talk to the Agent and he will tell you he's here to oversee the repairs to your house. Thankfully your house was insured against acts of zombie-mechanical piracy so it didn't cost you a cent! The Estate Agent will depart, taking the note and leaving you with the zombie head.

Zombie Head

Interrogate the zombie head, demanding answers in regards to whom sent him. He won't talk, so here comes the fun...er, nasty part, properly interrogating him. You will be presented with five options: give him a wet willy, pinch his nose, give him a pig nose, shake him, and insult him; along with a ‘Zombie Stress Level’ bar. Your goal is to get maximum stress from the zombie using those moves.

Zombie Stress Level

Zombie headEach option has a special effect and cool-down rate. The order in which you 'torture' him doesn't matter, although a good strategy is to use the 'Wet Willy' option whenever it's available, and combo the 'Nose Pinch' and 'Pig Nose' options for maximal stress. Once you've filled up the stress bar, the zombie head will crack and agree to talk. You will ask who sent him, to which he'll answer with (surprise, surprise) Rabid Jack. Investigate further and he will tell you that Jack is building an army of Barrelchests, exclaiming that we're all doooomed. After this, he'll refuse to speak any further, so you decide it's time to warn Bill Teach. Before you go, you stuff the zombie head into your inventory for good measure.

Now I need to go and warn Bill Teach before it's too late!

Teach Bill

Find Bill Teach on his ship (such as the one in Port Phasmatys) and talk to him. He will suggest that you go somewhere more private to talk, "Joe's House o' 'Rum'" in Mos Le'Harmless. Head to the northernmost pub and take a seat in the corner. Joe will ask what you want, choose 'A Long Drop', and you'll fall through the chair into a secret basement. I wonder what Bill gets up to down here...


Talk to Bill and tell him about Rabid Jack's plant. Bill will ask for evidence so place the zombie head on the table next to you. Talk to Bill again and you will tell him the story of everything that lead up to this moment. Bill says that if it is true, they have to act now to protect themselves. He says he has another method of making the zombie head talk, involving a special tool of Braindeath's called 'Twiblick Night Special'. Twiblick Night Special He will give you a Pirate spell sheet which allows you to teleport from Mos Le'Harmless to Braindeath Island and vice versa. How handy.

Bill Teach



Go upstairs and teleport to Braindeath Island using the spell sheet. Run west and talk to Captain Braindeath, telling him that you request a Twiblick Night Special. Braindeath says he would gladly help you out however he has some problems of his own, some of his brewers have gone missing! They went to investigate an odd looking thing uncovered by a minor earthquake and haven't been seen since. You will offer to search for them in return for a Twiblick Night Special. He will also tell you that the room is probably flooded, so you will need to dive underwater. If you haven't got your diving gear on hand, Braindeath will offer you his and take yours from the bank afterwards.


Go downstairs and head to the northern part of the island, where you will see a mysterious entrance. Make sure you have armour and food on-hand as you will be constantly attacked by level 84 monsters. Enter it. In the three northernmost rooms you will find the three dead brewers; Rory in the north-western room, Jimmy in the northern room, and Trent in the north-eastern room. Search all three brewers, killing the monsters in the room if need be. After that, leave the dungeon and return to Braindeath.

Search Dead Brewer

Brew Give him the bad news and he will give you the Twiblick Night Special after reciting 'The Oath'.

Do ye think yerself ready?

Who's a cute lil' Zombie?

Use the spell sheet to teleport to Mos Le'Harmless and return to Bill by requesting the Long Drop again. Give Bill the chest and he will unlock it. Opening the Twiblick Night Special requires you to go through three warnings, though you are a strong independent warrior who don’t need no support so open it anyway. Inside, the chest will contain the most horrific of contents...feminine wigs and make-up! Ask Bill how you are going to use this to get the information, and Bill will say that it's to give the zombie head a makeover, much to its dismay. You will be presented with various options, from what wig to wear to the colour eye shadow he will use. It doesn't matter what you choose, so go wild!

Go crazy!

The end result should look something like this. Dayum, zombabe got some looks! The zombie head will now tell you how to find the factory by giving you a set of directions, leading you to Bloodsplatter Isle. Go up the ladder and meet Bill on his ship. Make sure you have some food and armour as you will be taking slight damage. Talk to Bill and agree to sail to Bloodsplatter Isle.



As you're sailing, Bill will say that he's still unconvinced Rabid Jack is behind the whole scheme, and that he requires conclusive proof before taking action. Suddenly your ship will be hit with an onslaught of cannonballs. Since sailing to the isle is no longer an option, Bill devises a new plan involving firing you towards the isle using a cannon. Awesome plan Bill!


Four itemsGo below the ship and search the repair locker, powder barrel three times, barrel stack, and gun locker for a chain, three pieces of gunpowder, a barrel, and a cannonball respectively.

ChainsPick up the tinderbox and use it on the chain to get a heated chain, then use that on the anvil to smith a cannonball and chain. Barrel Use that with a barrel to get a Cannonball barrel-boat.


Go up and click on the cannon to 'Take a ride'. A cutscene will ensue with you flying onto Bloodsplatter Isle.

Take a ride



Investigate the perched rock and you'll find none other than the Seagull from Rocking Out, oh crap! Say you're deeply sorry for what you did to him (you're not) and he will propose to help you take down the cannoneers. He will allow you to take control of him using your 1337 Summoning skills, as he picks up cannonballs and drops them on the Barrelchests walking around the isle.


It is recommended that you face your viewing angle north as it will be easier to direct the seagull. There is a short delay between pressing a button and executing that action, so make sure to press the buttons early. Once you have blown up all five Barrelchests, talk to the Seagull. You appear to kiss and makeup, so afterwards head back to the ship by diving from the pier (make sure your diving equipment is on).

Evidence, you need evidence

Go back to Bill and you will now sail to Bloodsplatter Isle. If you wish to leave at any time, then just go back to the pier and signal for The Adventurous. Your task is to gather and collect evidence to convince Bill. Walk into the building and pick up a surgical mask, barrel, barrelchest parts, and a roll of bandage. Walk further into the building and you will be stopped by a general malpractitioner, who sedates and locks you up.


gUnlock the door and signal The Adventurous from the pier, telling Bill of how the complex is heavily guarded. To get around this, Bill suggests creating a disguise from a number of parts. Luckily you have already picked all the parts needed, so just talk to him again and he will build you a Barrelchest disguise.

BarrelGo back to Bloodsplatter Isle and take three pieces of gunpowder and three barrels. Use the gunpowder on the barrels to get Gunpowder-filled barrels. Now it's time to put your disguise on.


NotesNeat-o. Head to the south-western room and sabotage the gas canister to release laughing gas. Tell a joke to each of the Dis-orderlies, then brutalise them to remove them from the room. Investigate the noticeboard on the east side of the wall to find a suspicious letter.


Go to the western room where you will be attacked by level 70 Grimterns. Kill them and investigate the noticeboard to find another suspicious letter.


Go to the north-western room and talk to the occupied surgery beds, where you will discover that the zombies are drunk enough they won't be a problem. Thank god for alcohol! Investigate the noticeboard to find another suspicious letter.

Occupied Surgery Bed

Head to the north-eastern room and loosen the straps on the massive arms. Then, investigate one of the arms, making sure you click through the textbox until a cutscene occurs, where the massive arms destroy the Resideads. Investigate the noticeboard on the southern wall to find another suspicious letter.

Loosen straps massive arm

Walk south and talk to the Attendead, who will request your help in finishing the barrelchests. Use the gunpowder-filled barrels to build the three barrelchests, then detonating them. This will kill the Attendead, allowing you to investigate the noticeboard for the final suspicious letter.

Finish building Incomplete Barrelchest

The Saboteur


You now have enough evidence so go back to Bill and present your findings. He will finally believe you, and agrees that you have to do something to stop them. He will give you a stash of powder kegs to blow up the factory lines. Awesome. Go back to Bloodsplatter Isle and head to the eastern room (you don't need the disguise anymore). Pull the lever, and then start loading the conveyor belts with kegs. Keep doing this until all three belts grind to a halt.

Load Keg Conveyor Belt

Walk north and jump the wall, then run east and climb down the ladder where you will find Mi-Gor along with a new friend of his, Mechanical Murphy.


They sail away, however there is a conveniently placed zomboat just for you. Board it, and you will be tasked with blowing up five boats. You have to be within range of a boat to fire at it, be careful however as they will fire back as well. If you start taking heavy damage, leave the immediate vicinity and repair your boat. Continue doing this until you have sunk all 5 boats.

Board Unoccupied zomboat

If your zomboat does get sunk, your progress will be reset and you will have to start over. It is advised to take down the other zomboats first as they have the lowest amount of health before moving on to Mi-Gor and Murphy.

Oh, the huge manatee!

As you sink the last boat, you'll sail back to The Adventurous. Talk to Bill and you will sail to Mos Le'Harmless. Go back to Bill's man-cave and talk to him. He will say that it's time to start preparing for war, though thankfully that's for another quest. Congratulations, quest complete!

Quest Complete!


  • 1 Quest Point
  • 19,000 Defence experience 18,000 Smithing experience 18,000 Thieving experience 15,000 Summoning experience 11,250 Construction experience 11,000 Slayer experience 5,000 Dungeoneering experience Access to Braindeath Island 'Rum'-geon A quick teleport between Mos Le'Harmless and Braindeath Island Two Treasure Hunter Keys

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Published on: August 03, 2011 04:53 AM UTC by Salmoneus
Updated on: August 30, 2014 06:39 PM UTC by Sobend